Staying Lovers While Raising Kids – Yes, It’s Possible, Here’s How!
As much as there is nothing that compares to the joy of being a parent, many couples experience changes in their relationship post having kids. There’s no surprise why – when there are tiny humans in your life that command attention 24/7, it doesn’t leave you with much time for yourself, let alone your partner! But that doesn’t mean you watch the spark flicker out of your relationship and do nothing about it – rekindle the romance with these tricks!
9 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive in Your Relationship
Simple and obvious as these tricks may seem, they are all you probably need to spice up your relationship and help you get back to that phase of being ‘oh-so-much-in-love’! After all, the romance factor isn’t dead; it just needs to be reawakened!
1. Communicate Openly and Make Decisions Together
It’s okay if you’re rolling your eyes at a piece of advice that sounds done-and-dusted, but there’s a reason it’s such a cliche! Conflicts and issues are part of any relationship, but they increase in number and frequency when you add kids to the equation. When it boils down to cracking point, the root cause always tends to be about the division of labour! Talking to your partner about who needs to bear which responsibility, about your different duties and decisions, and just resolving issues about the household and kids can help take a load off your chest. And that’s the foundation you need to build the rest of your romance on! But make sure you’re having your discussions when you’re comparatively calm or less busy, not when there are 20 things around you testing your patience!
2. Talk To Each Other for a Couple of Minutes Every Day – About ANYTHING Except the Kids!
When you become parents, your entire world, and therefore, your roster of topics to talk about tends to revolve around the kids – what they ate, what they were up to in school, their lessons, their extracurricular lessons! What about what you do or your partner does? What about the long-lost discussions of your favourite movies or a song you stumbled upon or just a cosy chat about how much you love each other? Spend a few minutes of the day talking to each other about the other things in your life that matter too, and remind yourself that there is a life apart from the one your kids have set for you!
3. Plan a Date and Stick to the DATE!
Yes, the cheesy, filmy dates where you get all dressed up, give or get flowers, maybe exchange a simple present, unwind over a nice glass of wine at a restaurant or catch up on the latest movies! Work out a schedule that helps you organise all the kids’ needs and circle in on a date that you and your partner find convenient. Ask relatives or a babysitter to step in for a few hours as you snuggle together and reminisce over the good ol’ days (and the good new days too!). Planning for quality time together at least once a month will give you guys the break you deserve to relax and focus on yourselves and your relationship. Remember, this doesn’t have to be an expensive affair – movie nights at home, cooking a romantic dinner together, or dancing to tacky music in the living room can be equally fun, if you know how to plan it right!
4. Romantic Strolls Never Go Amiss!
If you have a really young child, taking the baby out on a calming walk can help put him to sleep. Use this opportunity to take that romantic stroll on a beach or in the nearby park with your partner. The fresh air will clear out your mind and help you both relax, so just soak it all in as you talk about things that interest both of you. It’s best that you avoid any highly crowded areas or places with too many lights and sounds – you don’t want your romantic stroll to be rudely interrupted by impatient strangers or a wailing baby!
5. Shower on the Compliments.
Remember how you used to go starry-eyed over everything your spouse would wear or say or do in the g’olden’ days? Complimenting each other would have come naturally because there was effort involved to look good or do something wonderful. It’s true that someone with frazzled hair and baby puke on their shirt doesn’t look too appealing to compliment in the first place; but do you see the effort they’re taking to care for your child unconditionally? That’s right! Post the baby’s birth, you and your spouse tend to let go of yourselves tending to your baby’s every need. But a few good words every day (make sure that they’re sincere) can go a long way in making your partner happy and elicit a blush out of them! Praise the efforts your spouse is taking to multitask, to keep you and your family happy, and watch how it’s appreciated!
6. Spoil The Right Person – Yes, Your Partner!
Your spouse is your team-mate, the co-parent of your kids, your one pillar of support in the happy, yet challenging journey of raising your kids! It’s not the children you should be spoiling (in fact, that’s never a good idea), it’s your partner! Let them take the day off from their regular duties and make some time for themselves; if you know what your spouse would love, make arrangements early on as a surprise. You can watch the kids, take over your partner’s duties, and wait for the day you get to be spoiled silly!
7. Do Things for Yourself Too
You don’t have to wait for your spouse to arrange a grand surprise for you; take the time out from your day to do it for yourself! Be it as simple as curling up in the corner with a good book and a cup of coffee or as luxurious as a spa treatment, you deserve to show yourself some love too! After all, how are you supposed to turn on the romance if you’re in your sweaty clothes and thinking of your child’s homework the whole time? Do yourself a favour, and take some time out to pamper yourself, and watch how it works for your relationship too!
8. Bring Back The Intimacy
Sex takes a backseat for quite a while when your baby is born, because the last thing a woman would want to indulge in immediately after the experience of giving birth is more physical activities! It may take time, depending on the person, to really get back in the game. But that doesn’t mean you maintain a one-arm distance at all times with your spouse. Snuggling, cuddling, and kissing need not be off-limits at any point in time; in fact, they’ll only make you feel better! Set the mood for some fun on your date nights, or send naughty texts during random times of the day; actually, don’t wait for nighttime, jump right into it if your kids are scheduled to stay asleep for a while during their afternoon naps. Stay flirty and fun as much as possible to remind your spouse of the person they fell in love with!
Keep the R-rated stuff restricted to the bedroom, but don’t be afraid to show your kids how much you both are in love; it plays a role in shaping up how they view acts of affection and reassures them of the love you have for them too!
9. Plan a Holiday Getaway – With The Kids’ Grandparents!
No, no, hear us out! If you were bitten by the travel bug before the baby came along and can’t imagine going all by yourselves, take his grandparents along if they’re interested. Not only does this make for a fun trip for everyone, but it also gives the grandparents plenty of time to catch up with their favourite munchkins. You know you have more hands on deck when it comes to watching the kids and can trust them to babysit for a couple of hours when you and your partner sneak away for some one-on-one time in a gorgeous new place!
Having kids doesn’t mean you should push aside your spouse and devote all your attention to your little ones. Have patience and treat your partner with all the love in the world. Restoring your spouse’s happiness and well-being is sure to give your relationship a boost; after all, who better to make your better half feel good, than you!