The friction between most mothers-in-law and their daughters-in-law, especially in Indian households, is pretty well-known and talked about. The famous Indian television producer Ekta Kapoor aptly produced a show on this issue titled ‘Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi’ or ‘Because a Mother-in-law Was Once a Daughter-in-law Too’. A woman who is a mother-in-law, should ideally understand the life of a daughter-in-law, as she has lived that life at one point in time.
Before marriage, a girl lives a comfortable and protected life as her parent’s daughter, in her own home. However, after marriage, she is expected to live with a new set of people in a new house from the get-go.
Issues Faced in Families
- The main concern with living in a joint family is that you get so caught up in the chaos, that you forget to dedicate some time for yourself. You have to place your family members, their choices, their happiness and sadness before yours.
- Your wishes will take a back-seat.
- You will rarely be the priority for your in-laws or even your husband.
- There will be little to no privacy for you and your husband, leading to a strained relationship.
- You will be expected to seek your inlaws’ approvals for every possible matter; right from what you should cook to what you should wear.
- Your in-laws may even lecture you on how to raise your child.
Tips for A Healthy Relationship
1. Have a Positive Attitude
Think positive and believe that your inlaws are there to help you and support you, because you’ll need a helping hand and there’s nothing better than being supported by family.
2. Respect Your Partner’s Family
My mother always says that she immensely respects her own mother-in-law because she’s the one raised her husband, that is my father. Whatever we have now, We owe it to our grandparents too, because they helped make their son capable to do things for us.
3. Lose Your Ego
Ego is that three-letter word which kills most relationships. Don’t let your ego get the most of you. Bridge the gap with love and trust. Your in-laws are your own people with whom you will be spending your whole life. So refrain from comparing your life with your parents, and that of your husband’s family.
4. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Make an effort to start conversations, as you are the newest member of the family and there is no harm in doing this. Don’t be surprised if you get snarky replies. Just remember that they are your spouse’s family.
5. Don’t Get Too Involved
If possible, try to stay away from your inlaws’ family issues. It may be, that your inlaws may not want to share some issues with you. Give them their space.
6. Find Personal Time
Try to find some personal time for you and your husband on a daily basis so that your relationship with your husband doesn’t get affected, and you both don’t feel the distance coming between you.
7. Let Your Husband Resolve Conflicts
Your husband is the link between you and his family. He knows his family well, and how they will react to a particular situation. Share your concerns with him so that he conveys it in his way or the way his family will understand. Refrain from talking about petty issues that may resolve on their own.
8. Be Yourself
Be the person who you are, as that will be your home for the rest of your life. You are equally important and they will gradually understand you, your likes and dislikes over time.
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