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My Journey to Motherhood
The last 1 year of my life was completely a new world because I am a mother of a beautiful baby girl now. The journey was very comfortable and I enjoyed my pregnancy days. Those kicks inside were really a lifetime experience. Extreme cravings for sweets, sleepless nights and countless washroom visits are unforgettable.
Well…It was a road full of several ups and downs where you walk alone with no map in hand. My 9 months were very comfortable and happy. I did not allow myself to be sad on little things but fought well when needed. I did what I wanted to, I did what made me happy. No wonder life is not always a bed of roses and those were the times when I made myself harder and stronger. These are the things which every mother does, I am not the exception.
Its been a month I delivered my baby and the postpartum journey seems to be a little tough as I am all alone with my baby. People are there to help but partially. I am on full-time 24×7 job of taking care of my newborn and it’s hard to explain how I feel. It’s a mix of emotions indeed. I smile when I look at her smiling face and cry with her the whole night. I am sleep deprived and I wonder when would I be able to sleep for the whole night without any stress. It is really not possible to explain how frustrating it is to listen to people’s advice on how should I handle my baby. I hate them from the bottom of my heart. I don’t want to listen to anybody. There are my mom and husband who supported me to the maximum they can and I love them for this.
I cannot ignore the fact that I felt depressed, unloved and sad a hundred times. Maybe it is due to those declining hormones inside and mood swings after delivery. It feels like no one cares and loves me, everyone is there to blame me for anything wrong. People have made me cry myriads of time without any fail. They succeeded in making me feel low and sad in every way they could. Obviously my reaction on these actions of people was never positive, I reacted like hell. I used to be extremely negative and unforgiving because they used to hurt me in my heart. Slowly I started believing that I am no longer a good person and it was the saddest part of my journey to the motherhood. Although I forgave them all for the sake of my peace of mind. Mood swings were at their extreme. My husband was the biggest support I can ever have. He used to calm me down, made me stronger and made me realise that I should change the way I am thinking and the things will change itself.
However, I have some beautiful people in my life who made my journey happy and memorable. My husband, mom, dad and friends are my lifelines.
People talk about motherhood on a very sweet note but it’s tough to be a mom. One has to come out of their comfort zone and put all the efforts physically, mentally and financially. It needs us to push our boundaries to the next level.
But at the end of the day, that sweetest smile will give you immense happiness that will make you forget all the pain.