The other day my elder one was enquiring about my age. Immediately after my reply, she said even she wants to be of my age as fast as possible. I felt as if this had happened before also. Yes, it had, but the only difference was that I was the kid and my mom was in my place.
When I was in 7th standard, I saw college-going students wearing colour-dress, going back home at 1 pm itself, enjoying with friends, and having a nice time. I always wanted to grow up fast so that even I could go to college in colour-dress, go back home early and enjoy life. That’s how I was seeing my college life. But once I finished my 10th standard, I got to know what competition was.
I wanted to become a doctor so I had to work hard day and night. I had to stay in a hostel and study in another city as there were no good colleges in our place. There was nothing called enjoyment for 2 whole years. In fact, I could meet my family maybe once in a few months. But that time I just wanted to achieve my goal. So, nothing bothered me much. Finally, I got a chance to study in a dental college but that too at someplace miles away from home. I hesitated, because studying in that college meant staying away from my parents for 6 long years. But that was the only way I could achieve what I wanted. There was no other option left.
I started the journey of my professional life. I also started missing my parents badly. I had achieved what I wanted but missed 8 precious years of life. It is not that I didn’t enjoy my hostel life. That’s another part. Of course, I did but I missed my parents too. I missed my mom’s lap, the food she made, I missed my grandparents, I missed the festivals, I missed the fights with my brother for silly reasons and mostly, I missed my dad. I just missed being with him.
“Sapnon ka woh aangan kahan, darpan bata bachpan kahan.” This line exactly shows how I felt at that point in time.
But the most awaited time arrived – I completed my graduation and wanted to go home as soon as possible. But before that, I had to complete my internship which was compulsory. That was ok because I was going home forever. I will not have to stay without my family anymore. Never. But one thing I forgot was that I was a girl and I had to leave my family and accept another family. It was a time when people had started asking my parents about my marriage.
And what next? A proposal had come which my parents thought was best for me. I felt it was too early for marriage but as they say, good proposals don’t come so easily and my parents felt it was the right time for me to get married. Before the completion of my internship, I was engaged. And the marriage date was fixed. Guess what, just one month after completing my internship I was married. Now I had permanently lost the chance of being with my parents.
That’s it. Now, I stay with my in-laws and I’m happy but I miss the time which has gone by.
Thinking about all this, my heart cried out silently and said – I don’t want you to grow up, my child. Neither do I want to grow old. I wish I had a time machine. I want the time to stop. Right here. I’m enjoying this phase of life to the fullest. I know I’m being selfish but that is how I feel right now. I want them by my side forever and ever.
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