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I was living in my body for thirty long years, but it never seemed so special, other than the occasional salon visits, and some passing comments of awe and wonder. My pregnancy was very much a planned one, which unfortunately didn’t go according to plan! Adolescent memories of movies that portrayed getting pregnant as easy as ordering a pizza were shattered in a few months. Frequent visits to doctors and diagnostic clinics initiated my motherhood journey on a note of desperation and anxiety. But, with much trial and tribulation, I was blessed with my healthy little boy on New Year’s Eve. It was the best day of my life, the day from which I started loving my body, as it housed the most explicit feeling I had ever felt.
My unending days of research started with the arrival of my son. Postpartum depression had some share of the days, but the long days of waiting forbade me from uttering a single word related to pain or fatigue. I nursed him through the day and night, and in turn, he watered my unquenchable thirst of motherhood that had waited years for this blissful feeling.
Magi were the blessed souls who arrived with gifts for Jesus Christ, when the Son of God was born. My heartbeat, my son, is a Magi to me, because he came with priceless gifts for the soul asleep in me. He not only made me a mother, but he introduced my real self to me. I started walking on the untrodden roads of spirituality, so that I understand the vast difference between attachment and love. I breathed the real essence of motherhood; it is an absolute rare chance of living my childhood again, from a different perspective. I learnt that this little human being deserves every available respectful gesture that we as adults accept as our right. Expectations make up the largest share of most parenting failures – I had let this thought sink in gradually.
Motherhood has more to do with feelings and connectivity. As true to all relationships, it needs the same amount of mutual respect, love, and understanding. I am unlearning numerous things, to see the world from his eyes. He is living in the moment, and I am reliving them. Undoubtedly, motherhood had changed my perception of life. It has gifted me an outlook that had showered inexplicable blissful moments in otherwise ignored incidents.
To every mother who has given birth either from her body or soul, to every father who harbours motherly instincts competently, and to every individual who had felt the spurts of this eternal feeling spontaneously: be present in the moment, and embrace the little souls without any expectations. These magical beings just know the ways in which life should be lived. Observe them, and be in the now. Life will never be simpler.
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