Never Let the Hope Inside You Die

image depicting hope

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It started on a happy note on Nov 21, 2019. I was pregnant. It was joy, happiness, anxiety all mixed emotions for me. I went for a regular checkup and to confirm my pregnancy in the third month. My BP shot to an alarming level. Yes, I was tensed, but my blood pressure did not match my anxiety; it was far beyond it.

My real journey started from there. Tests…tests…tests…regular visits..medicines..my scans, which were far more than a normal uncomplicated pregnancy. I AM A DOCTOR  myself, instead of understanding and dealing with it as a doctor would, I made it really scary at the start. And, the fear of COVID added to my worries. It doubled my tension up as there were no medicines for pregnant women.

Lockdown, sanitisation, everything seemed like a lot. But, I still kept my confidence high for there was HOPE growing inside me, and with the support and love from my husband, my parent, and my doctor, I made it till the seventh month.

But when I was about to enter the eighth month, my last scan showed I had decreased liquor. It was expected due to my meds and the doctor put me under observation for a few days. I had another scan after two days as I doubted liquor leak, and it showed a severe decrease in liquor. A c-section was planned immediately, and I delivered a cute little baby girl, my hope, my life Hritika.

You may ask what’s so special about this story; it’s very common. But, those few days from scan to surgery and post-op was the most difficult time of my life. From surgery to my BP fluctuations, the premature delivery (34 weeks), and my girl in NICU, everything was challenging. My baby suffered neonatal jaundice thrice. But we slowly helped her through it until she was healthy like every other kid.

Yes, it was tough and scary, but my hope never died. Since I have given birth to my hope, my confidence, my baby girl Hritika, seeing her doing well every day doubles my hope. I can forget all the worries and move forward.

You may think it is silly for a doctor to be scared despite knowing everything –  the treatment and the remedies. But let me tell you this – if we know about living and getting out of danger, we even know about non-treatable complication and death. Even doctors have that fear. Finally, never let hope die. You may not get the expected result, but it builds strength in you.

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