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Every relationship no matter how amazing, goes through period of doubt, anger, pain and frustration. Here are some signs of a healthy relationship, so that you can figure out if you are in one!
If you’ve been married, are married or in a relationship, you’d know that Maroon 5 was right when they said “It’s not always rainbows and butterflies. It’s compromise that moves us along”
Marriage is more about playing on the same team and hustling through life with your best friend (plus sex!). This means that there are highs, lows and phases of in-betweens; there is hot, there’s cold and lukewarm but in the end you’re still together.
In these lukewarm phases, it is normal to wonder if you ended up with the “one” and if maybe your relationship is more nay than yay.
To answer that question in your head, it is important that you know the signs of a healthy marriage.
12 Signs You Are in a Healthy Marriage
1. You Have Your Own Space
It is strange that space is the key to closeness because they seem so paradoxical but honestly it works! Just because you’re in love does not mean that your lives are bound together in a way that you spend every waking hour together. Growth happens when you cultivate hobbies, interests and friendships individually as well.
2. You Have Fights
Disagreeing means that you have things you stand for no matter what anyone else feels. It is healthy to put up your case fairly and in a respectful manner. The purpose of this is to come out of it knowing your partner better and not damaging or hurting the relationship by name-calling or putting him down. Also apologising when you’re wrong is important.
3. You Have the Same Core Values
This is super important to avoid feeling like you made a wrong decision later. A lot of people may find attraction but be wired differently in their core beliefs and values, causing relationships to die down after the initial phase is over.
4. You Learn to Let Some Things Go
Familiarity breeds contempt. This means that you will annoy each other. You will scream and fight, too. You will remember all the times he did or didn’t do something and it will build up. Talk about it, and let it go. The best relationships are the ones between two great forgivers.
5. You Actually Like Your Partner
Beyond the intimacy and the actual living together part of being married, it is important that you actually like your partner as a human being. Would you be friends with him if marriage hadn’t been your destiny? Would his qualities still be admirable? Do you have moments where you laugh together and enjoy each other?
6. You are Kind
Love is patient, love is kind. The Bible’s most overused verse in sappy rom-coms is actually a pretty good guideline for marriage if you think about it. If you find that you are treating people you barely know with more respect, care and kindness than your man, you need to ask yourself why this is happening. Your partner deserves the best of you.
7. You Want Each Other
Sex is important. Intimacy is more important! Intimacy is about companionship, bonding, little inside jokes, spooning, familiarity and basically all those warm fuzzy things about love that every human being needs. A healthy relationship is a mix of good times both in and out of the bedroom!
8. You Have No Secrets
Secrecy isn’t fair. If you feel the need to hide things from your partner, it is a sign that communication is weak between the two of you, that there is lack of respect for commitment or that you do not feel comfortable being yourself in the relationship. All these things are dangerous for your relationship and the sooner they are tackled the better. Which brings us to our next point.
9. You Speak Your Mind
Feeling like there’s no one to talk to or that your partner won’t understand what you need to say is one of the most lonely feelings ever. A good relationship is one where you and your partner are a team and can do anything to help the other feel better, including hearing them out. Similarly if you aren’t listening to your partner, now’s a good time to begin!
10. There is Trust
We cannot stress how important trust is. Insecurity eats couples up and leads to bigger problems. Try and keep your relationship as open as stress-free as you can to avoid issues with trust as these ones take the longest to repair.
11. You Fill in For Each Other
Sometimes love is when you fill in for each other when the other cannot. This means if your hubby usually cooks and is busy with a stressful presentation, you gladly take over his duties. Basically, you always want to make life easier for the other.
12. Your Relationship is Your Happy Place
At the end of the day you want to come home to your partner and just unwind together. When life gets stressful, all you can do is wait to vent and have him comfort you or give you a solution or just listen. This is a big sign of a healthy relationship.
Remember, the dynamics of every relationship and love language are different but these basic signs will indicate which way your marriage is heading. Be the best version of yourselves and genuinely look out for each other because you are family and family comes first.