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Being a parent is not an easy task. However, there is a lot to learn in the process, both for the parent and the child. Learning through experience helps a parent to give a good upbringing to his or her child.
Parenting may come easy to some, while for others it may be a troublesome task. Even though the experience may vary from person to person, there are some parenting mistakes that have become quite common. What many parents consider the obvious things to do are actually having a negative impact on your child!
The Most Common Parenting Mistakes to Avoid
1. Not Letting Your Child Explore
Ever since their birth, our little ones are constantly learning. Your baby starts by looking at your face, catching your expressions and slowly growing to understand other things. Even as your little tot grows into a preteen, playing is her favourite way of learning and in this effort, she often ends up getting bruised or hurt. However, this must not be a reason to stop her from exploring. If parents constantly keep guarding and correcting their child, she will not be willing to try new things or learn from her mistakes.
2. Constantly Comparing Her with Others
This is something that has an adverse effect on the child. It is common when a child starts school, that her grades are compared with that of her classmates. It is important to note that constantly telling her how others are better than her won’t change her grades. On the contrary, it will affect her self-confidence. It would be ideal to sit with her, and help her figure out the reason why she is not able to perform or if there is any other matter bothering her.
3. Trying too Hard to Raise a Perfect Child
This is one of the most common parenting mistakes in first-time parents. In order to ensure that they raise the perfect child, they become too hard on her. They lay down strict rules, push them to behave in a certain manner and constantly keep them in check. Such an attitude will only distance the child and weaken the parent-child bond. Parents should remember that it is important to chalk out certain guidelines, but they should be made flexible enough based on the child’s response.
4. Threatening Her Over Bad Behaviour
Threatening a child or shouting at her is a minor form of child abuse. It can cause her emotional harm and may also make her a person of low self-esteem, in the years to come. Parents should teach their kids to follow rules, but without any physical or verbal harm.
5. Telling Her that She is Always Right
Pampering is something that every parent does, but too much of it can be a bad thing. Making your child think that she is always right may make her over-confident. Children should know their mistakes and also be aware of the fact that their actions affect other people. Hiding your child’s mistakes will encourage her to do bigger mistakes in the future. The child should know where she is wrong and learn to own up to her mistakes.
6. Preaching without Practicing
Many parents have the habit of giving long, unending lectures to their kids, but they never follow what they preach. Kids take their parents as the most influential role-models and thus, often imitate them. If you tell your child that eating junk food all the time is bad, smoking is injurious to health, or sitting in front of television all day is not acceptable, then you should learn to follow the same yourself.
7. Ignoring Her School Life
Understand that the child spends most of his day in school, so she has many experiences there (good or bad). It is, therefore, important for parents to know what is happening in school. Children should not feel that their parents completely ignore their school life. This will also encourage her to discuss anything that is bothering her in school or if she is being abused or bullied by someone.
8. Fighting Over Control
This situation worsens by the time kids hit their teens. In order to show who is the boss, parents often make decisions hastily, jump to conclusions easily, and get angry too quickly. In cases where the kids are not listening, parents should reason it out with them. Shouting at her or forcing her to do one thing and not the other, will instil feelings of anger and frustration in the kid.
9. Raising Her to Become What You Wanted to Be
It is a common tendency that parents force their desires on their kids; especially when it comes to careers or some extra-curricular activity. Parents should realize that each child is different and may excel in differing fields. It is crucial to act on this aspect of problems in parenting; hence, the right thing to do is let her follow her dreams, while you support her in his endeavours.
10. Fighting With Your Partner in Front of the Kid
Always remember that the idea of relationship in a kid’s mind develops at his home. Constant fighting between you and your partner may affect her mental health, and may also lead her to follow the same aggressive behaviour in the coming years.
11. Parents Always Behaving Like “Yes-Sir” Friends
Parents sometimes worry about hurting their child’s feelings and end up treating them as small adults. While you certainly need to make your child feel responsible and mature, one of the few mistakes to avoid while raising the child is becoming her Yes-Sir friend! Some actions/decisions will not go down well with your children, but such decisions need to be made if they are in the child’s best interest.
12. Missing the Wonder of Childhood
Childhood is a time for play, free fun and discovery. Parents should not rush their little ones through this precious, innocent, once in a lifetime phase. Parents should equally enjoy this phase, as, very soon, their little one would be all grown up.
Parenting comes fraught with challenges and difficult situations. It also comes with plenty of rewards and wonderful moments. Just keep note of these common parenting mistakes and you’re good!
Do you have a parenting story to share? Tell us in the comments!