Married life can be challenging and exciting at the same time. A woman creates a loving home for herself, placing great trust in her husband, to begin a new family life. But then, what if the trust gets wrecked by a cheating husband? It can be most devastating, without a doubt. Most women may get thoughts of the husband two-timing them from time to time. However, it can be hard to say with certainty if your partner is actually having an affair. Nevertheless, you can always look carefully for some telltale signs to establish whether it is plain jealousy or is he in fact up to something.
Ways to Know Your Husband is Cheating
It can be incredibly hurtful to consider the likelihood of your partner cheating on you. You may feel something is not right though it can be difficult to place a finger on things for sure. It can trigger a roller coaster of emotions like anxiety, stress, fear, insecurity, depression. You may start having sleepless nights, worrying and obsessing about your husband going astray. But in case you feel strongly about it, looking for some warning signals may help you get a clearer picture. Being sensitive to certain red flags can aid you in determining if your partner is on a cheat track. Here are some signs of a guilty cheating husband:
1. New Mannerisms and Behaviour
You may find your husband making up elaborate stories to explain his vanishing acts. He may resort to wise-crack replies or sarcasm as a means to distract you from his inability to provide straight answers. If you notice your husband using trendy expression or phrases or gestures, it may be giving a clue. You need to reflect who has he been spending his time with lately. Also, an unfaithful husband may tend to feel guilty a lot. So, he may act out of guilt and do surprising things to cover up for his deceitful ways. Still, the idea of being alone with you may make him uneasy. He may try and stay away as much as he can. He may spin excuses to dodge being with you on your own.
2. Dramatic Changes in Dress Style
Has your husband started acting like a narcissist recently? Does he seem to be buying new clothes all the time or has become increasingly committed to losing weight? If you are nodding a yes to all these questions, there may be something more than meets the eye.
Men who are having an affair usually take extra pains to dress well and look good regularly. They tend to become conscious of their looks and fitness to impress other women. You can consider this as a cautioning sign especially if your husband was generally careless about his physical appearance earlier.
3. Alteration in Sex Drive
There can be two changes that may get manifested. The more noticeable one is that you may find there is no spark in the bedroom any more. Sex may seem like a chore or an imposition. He may seem less and less excited about sex. Chances are he is getting his action elsewhere. Another change can be that he starts to show off some new moves in the bedroom, something he may have picked up from someone else. He is suddenly more adventurous or requests erotic sexual acts to try and spice up things.
4. Emotionally Distant
Your better half may give the impression of being emotionally distant. He may evade display of affectionate gestures like kissing or hugging you. He may look reluctant to open up regarding his feelings or even simple matters like how he spent his day at work. Physically, your partner may be beside you. Nonetheless, mentally he may appear lost in his thoughts, distracted or withdrawn. He is likely to be absent-minded or pay less attention to all that you do or say.
5. Extremely Defensive Behaviour
A double-dealing husband can become very guarded and self-justifying in his activities so much so that he may escape any meaningful or intimate discussions with you. He may start to argue or fight uselessly over trivial issues on a day-to-day basis. Such behaviour may be indicative of his frustration or guilt of cheating on you. Also, he is more susceptible to over criticism regarding spouse’s conduct like showing him attention, asking him questions about his time spent outside the house.
6. Secrecy about Gadgets
Several lock codes or passwords on the phone, laptop and other social media accounts may suggest that your husband is intent on hiding things from you. More so if he refuses to share them even upon being asked. Other cautionary signs may include receiving many wrong numbers or hang-ups on picking up his phone, husband rushing to answer the call before you may, avoiding to talk in your presence, whispering while talking over the phone, clearing call/chat history or deleting numbers from the call log. Unexplained huge phone bills may be one of the signs of cheating husband long distance.
7. Glaring Paper Trails
It is important for you to take note of your partner’s doing or events to put the pieces of the puzzle together to get the complete picture. You may be suspicious of any unfamiliar phone numbers figuring in the phone bill especially if the call duration appears excessive, if your husband has started collecting the mail before you can, taking more work trips, discouraging you from checking on him at work, attending events and dissuading you from coming along, unusual additional car mileage.
8. Variations in Spending Habits
Husbands who are going off track may at times engross in mystery spending. It may help to be wary of any uncommon spending. For example, you may like to observe if there has been any surge in ATM withdrawals mostly from out-of-town, or increased credit card expenditure. You may like to track the credit card receipts revealing strange purchases or deductions for travel. He may prevent you from seeing his paycheck or even apply for a different credit card without your knowledge.
9. Frequent Late Nights
Do you often find your partner missing from the scene or going to bed without him? Does he tend to stay up till late when other family members have gone to bed? Has he started keeping long working hours or late-nights at work? All this can mean that he is possibly chatting online privately or spending time with someone on the pretext of being at work. Take heed of any deviations of his set routine without an apparent reason or if he is frequently ‘unavailable’ at work when you try to reach him.
10. Erratic Moods
If your husband ordinarily remained stable but now is usually moody, it may mean something is not right. You may see him looking off in the distance, smiling for no clear reason as if walking on sunshine. But then you may see him upset all of a sudden trying to blame work or something random. You may notice his mood transform after a certain phone call or coming home smelling of a different fragrance.
What to Do If Your Husband is Cheating on You
If you are doubtful about your husband being unfaithful, it may do you good to take charge of things and investigate the matter. The longer you avoid dealing with the state of affairs, the worse you may end up feeling. Here are some things you can do if your husband is cheating on you:
- Don’t be in a hurry to accuse your husband. Merely observe at first and keep an eye on his demeanour and behaviour to be certain of your doubts. Be patient and do not allow your anger to get the better of you.
- Avoid falling in the trap of needless speculations like, “Did I do something to push him away? Am I not good enough for him? Why is it happening to me? Will our relation ever get normal?” All these emotions can take a toll on your health. Stay focused and do not start blaming yourself for his dubious ways.
- You may try going through his possessions to uncover some concrete evidence like his phone, laptop, emails, bank statements, travel bag, wallet or even his pant pockets so that you can confront him when the time comes.
- It may bear well to confide in someone whom your husband listens to or take into confidence an elderly family member to help you deal with the situation.
- Once you are sure of your husband’s infidelity, it may be better to talk to him upfront. Ask for a straight and honest explanation. Be open about your hurt feelings and tell him you deserve to know the truth.
- You can also consider getting support through marital counselling.
Women are known to have a solid sense of intuition. Use it along with the power of observation to unearth significant giveaways of your husband’s wavering acts. Refrain from jumping to any conclusions. Preserve your self-esteem and be sure to find out the whole truth before taking definite steps to confront your husband about this.