Tips for Negotiating Effectively with Children
Toddler’s behaviour can be difficult; sometimes they are irrational, while at other times they are emotional. Things get really messed up when they are irrational and emotional, both, at the same time. Parents always are at the receiving end of extreme tantrums, back talk, crying or wailing.
Toddlerhood is a trying time for the parents because children start to feel independent and confident. They start to have an opinion about almost everything. Negotiating with kids is necessary to make them see the reason objectively, without creating a dent on their self-esteem. For example,you could ask her what she wants to wear, but you decide what time she goes to bed; this will empower your child and she will feel she is being heard.
Read on to know how you can negotiate effectively with your young tykes.
Overcome your Own Emotions
If you are not able to deal with your emotions, it is going to be very difficult to deal with your child. Master your own weaknesses first. Do not become aggressive for something very frugal. When your temper flares, take a few moments away and do not react spontaneously. Try and understand your child’s perspective before giving out the verdict.
Always make it a point to use simple words and simple instructions for your child. Make your child understand the reward you offer for a particular action. It is advisable to explain one instruction at a time. Do not use unknown words for in your conversation with the child. For example, if she does not understand the difference between 2 hours and 20 minutes, don’t use it in your negotiation feat.
Make an Agreement
Start by making an agreement and not an argument; however, your tone of voice should be assertive. Let your child feel that you are giving her an option and she is the decision-maker. Let her feel independent, this is how she will listen to you with more attention. You could also have a requesting tone, if you feel your child is not in the right mood. She will never fight with you for a request. Use words like ‘would you or could you’ instead of ‘you should’.
Explain your Thoughts
Use simple words to explain your thoughts to her. You could take time to do this while you both are engaged in some group activity. Be open to any answer because you cannot even imagine what your child may be thinking. Take time to explain things; tell her the importance of eating, personal hygiene, going to school.
Let your Child Win
Let your child feel she is the winner sometimes. For example, when she says she wants to sleep a little more on a holiday, let her do that. Keep a plate of fruits in front of her and let her choose what she wants to eat. This will increase her trust in you.
As a mother, it is totally up to you on how to negotiate and where to negotiate. In some cases where your child is not feeling well, you might want to give in, and that is perfectly fine. Listen to your child completely and get her involved. Make your point clear, at the end of the day you get to decide what happens.