Thought of Every New Mommy – “Am I a Bad Mother?”
Being a first time parent includes both anxiety and fear – anxiety of carrying a baby first in your womb and then in your arms, and fear of what if something wrong happens, though no one wants that ‘something bad’ to really happen but still that is what a fear is, right?
Mine was a Cesarean delivery with a good pregnancy period (just with tid-bits of normal health issues). The day my baby Rishaan (name is what we did decide earlier) came into my hands I was totally confused about the emotions I had…I was happy as I had a big achievement of my life come true, but I had some worry too – how will I? How will I be the best mother, how will I give what my child wants, how will I understand his needs? There were many questions.
These questions were not because I didn’t have any elderly person at home, but were because times have changed a lot, and with these changes parenting techniques too have changed. With the hope and strength that all will be fine, we started our parenting journey.
From bath to oil massages, oils to baby products, clothes, diapers, doctors, formula milk and what not, all made us so fussy like we want everything to be the best…subscribed to many YouTube channels, read many blogs, researched many things, downloaded many apps, posted many questions, eagerly waited for replies and did whatever could be done to care and protect our little one.
But with all these efforts there were times when everything to me seemed like everyone else in the world is perfect and I just had one question – am I a bad mother who is not able to take care of her child? This question usually popped up when my child was sick, not feeding well, not gaining weight….but then my husband suggested to me to post all the queries I had on the ‘Parenting’ section of the FirstCry app (I did use this app for shopping but not for parenting). I started doing that, and believe me, from oil to massage, from bath to clothes, from diapers to household remedies, I got everything on it! Not just by expert doctors, but I got advice from real time, experienced and expert mommies. Gradually days came when I too started suggesting to new mommies about baby care!
Though this journey is lifelong, we did it! My child is now twenty months, and we as parents have also grown along with him. Parenting has never been easy, be it feeding, making him eat, play, etc. But we tried our level best to give it our best shot.
Sharing your knowledge and experience can really make wonders of a difference, and this is what my ongoing learning is. For all new mommies out there – never feel you’re a bad mother or feel that this is a tough phase. Everything will pass. Just be patient, and keep loving as this time won’t come again with your kid. Just enjoy, and keep some good apps, friends, doctors at your reach so that you never feel, “I am a bad mother”.
All the best and happy parenting to each one out there. Stay blessed, and keep smiling!
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