My Story of Bonding With My Baby for the First Time

For the first time I was holding my baby …the moment was something which I could never express in words, a feeling which was very special though I was very careful while holding her because I was afraid as I didn’t wanted to hurt her. I slightly bent down to her ears and made a promise to her that she will never be alone till am alive. I promised her that let it be any situation I will always be there for her. I was recovering from c-section as well. And a new phase was starting for both of us.. everything went well. We came to home and celebrated her homecoming ceremony with friends and family. Then the day came when she was about to get her first vaccine, and I was very nervous about that. I went to the hospital with her waiting for my turn. When the nurse called my name my heart skipped a beat. I was afraid..tensed and worried at the same time. This was something very new feeling for me. I want inside and the nurse took away her from my hands. That very moment I started feeling incomplete without her. Then the doctor went to another room for her vaccination, I heard her cry and I too started to cry with her. I went to the room and was about to take her again in my arms but the doctor asked me to wait and he started discussing something with the other doctor. I was not able to listen to what they were saying as I desperately wanted my baby in my arms again. Then the doctor came to me and said that they need a blood test to be done for knowing the bilirubin level in my baby’s body. I didn’t know what this was for but it shattered me. I was wondering what are they exactly going to do with her. Are they really going to draw blood from her tiny little body? And what if she will be diagnosed with something? Again I was sent outside the room and again I heard her crying. But this time I was just praying to God that she should be well. The bilirubin level was high in her blood so the doctor asked us to get admitted in a hospital for three days. And they started the phototherapy with her. For three days my eyes didn’t close even for a moment. I was just sitting next to that machine (or whatever it is called) continuously watching her sleeping in that thing. I do remember my mother scolding me and asking me to take rest as it was just sixth day of c-section. But I could not think anything except her. That day I felt a bond with her which I had never felt in my whole life. The love for her was felt and it was immense. That day I realised why people say that being a mother changes your life completely and you forget who you were before this but you just have your baby in your priorities list.

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