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This is for all the lovely ladies or to be more particular to all the mother out there, who must have realised that motherhood is a life-altering experience.
As newly crowned mothers, we are new to almost everything. By the time we cope up with the physical changes in our body, our relatives or family friends usually come up with some weird parameters of judging motherhood. Then we begin lamenting how can someone judge us when they are not even aware of what we went through (or are still going through) post-childbirth.
We then continuously reflect over their opinions and judgements, which make our heads churn. The flip side is when we start getting conscious about what these people say. To seem more authoritative, those so-called umpires of motherhood devise certain unwritten norms for a lady and to transform her into a perfect mother. After careful analysis, I feel those norms are no more than the figment of their lopsided (I wanted to use the word – crooked) imagination.
Let me quote some examples from my own experience – “Oh! the baby has not started walking yet. She may not be getting a proper diet.”; “Such a tiny baby, I wonder whom she resembles. There is no one in our house like that.”; “You have been blessed with a daughter. Oh! Don’t worry, the next time you would be blessed with a boy.”
While we gradually evolve and adapt to the new way of life, but the moot point is there are always some people who manage to be insensitive.
I am a mother of two children for quite some time now. The transformation from a happy-go-lucky girl to a full-time mother didn’t come naturally to me, and trust me like everyone else, I tried and am still trying my level best to be a good mother. Most of us have to assume the role of a mother and homemaker at some point in life and that’s the part of human evolution, in my opinion. But what I honestly feel is that we just want-need some guidance and friendly advice (which does not induce a sense of guilt).
To all the experienced & traditional but judgemental ones, who are cynical almost all the time, I would just like to say that support us and guide us with empathy so that we can become good mothers and better human beings. I sincerely pray that in these trying times we accept & guide each other and be the pillars of support. Let’s be open-minded and raise awareness and not spread negativity.
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