Choosing to Have Only One Child – How It Affects the Behaviour of the Child
Friends, in today’s fast-moving world, everything demands a good financial situation – even raising kids. It starts with their different needs – nutrition, health, education, entertainment and so on – and many of us decide to be the parent of a single child by choice to balance our finances without compromising on the care we can give our only child. The motive behind this is only the proper and best care for the baby.
Another factor behind this thought is the aspect of both parents working and facing a shortage of time. Kids need time for happiness. These days, both parents work and kids are being taken care of by grandparents, extended family, daycare faculty, etc. The couple already lives with the guilt of giving less time to their kid. All these reasons force them to have a single child.
But what happens ultimately?
Being parents we balance our time and finances and try our best to take good care of our child. But is this actually true? Because who does the child have for company?
Every child needs a constant companion. Your kid also needs a companion with whom he can play, and share his parents, relatives and childhood with. You can do everything in your power for your baby, but the happiness he will get when he is with other children is irreplaceable. Just think of what will happen when he is able to experience this happiness at home! He will be on cloud 9!
There is also a matter of behavioural issues to think about. Depression is a disease related to behaviour, thinking, and emotions, and I was shocked to know that little children can also be affected by this condition.
One of my friends provides tuitions at home to students of the 9th and 10th grade. She was discussing an incident that happened at her place. One of her students went up to her and seemed sad. She asked him if he was okay. There was no reply from his side, and on asking again, he started crying.
She got upset. What was to be done now? She sat with him, pacified him and tried to counsel him. Ultimately, the boy said, “No one loves me. I have no company. My parents don’t have time for me. I don’t know what to do.”
We all were shocked to hear about this! A boy of hardly 15 years of age was depressed because he had no one – no one to talk to, to fight with, to love, and to share things with. His parents also had no time for him as they were working.
He was a single child of his parents. My friend counselled him regularly and spoke to his parents about it separately without telling him. She tried to make a jolly good environment in the class and threw some snack parties to make the kid happy and joyful. She was able to get that child out of his depressed state. Obviously, his parents too did their job wonderfully. His father took a few months off from work and then later, his mom decided to leave her job when his father had to rejoin work. Now, the boy no longer feels lonely. These career sacrifices are worth it when they save the happiness of your child!
Just imagine what would have happened had my friend not noticed the changes in the boy which his parents couldn’t even see because they were busy! The boy could not even express this front of his parents as they were always away at work. He could have lost his soul and mind to depression. While parents work for the well-being of their kids, at times, some decisions have to be taken to make things right.
So friends, please do not gift loneliness to your child by choice.
These are my thoughts and observations only. They are not applicable to those who are in difficult financial situations or working couples who don’t have anyone to depend on to take care of their child in their absence. Nothing mentioned here is meant to offend anyone.
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