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Being a full-time mom isn’t an easy job. Most of the mothers are usually tired of doing their office work, cooking, laundry, cleaning, and most importantly, taking care of their little tots. There is hardly any room left for doing something that helps them relieve stress or get enough rest to ensure stable emotional, physical, and mental health.
I was going through the same phase. I had no house help, the husband had his office, and my little one was 14 months old, which means she needed full-time attention as well as assistance. I could barely get time for taking a shower or even visiting the loo. I was super tired and exhausted. I just had the night time for me to do what I would want to, but by the end of each day, I was too tired to do anything. I would then just hit the bed. If my luck wasn’t good enough, my little one would give me company even during the night time and help me stay active until early morning. I just didn’t know how to manage it all.
Initially, things didn’t matter much. I would try and take naps to cover up my night sleep or try postponing some household chores to get rest. But as days passed, the work piled up, and I started getting more tired and more frustrated. It all came out in some or the other form on my little one and my husband. Minor things would trigger my frustration, and I became an angry person, rather an angry machine which would start at the slightest of touch. Once after a fairly manageable day, when my baby was just crying for no reason, I just lost it and scolded her. Yes, I did that because I was sleepy and she didn’t want to sleep, which made so angry and restless and I just couldn’t control my words and actions.
- I made sure I gave at least 7-8 hours of rest to my body. I knew, without ample rest, my body will start creating stress hormones and make me angry and irritable.
- I made a time table about my baby and not for my baby. I track my baby activities and manage my work accordingly. For example, when my baby is playful, and I can let her play alone, I finish my work and keep an eye on her. This way, I can even take a nap when she’s napping.
- I planned the food menu for the entire day the previous night and saved some preparation time. Additionally, I tried to match our food menu with the baby’s, so I didn’t have to make multiple lunches and dinners.
- I kept a minimum half an hour for myself. That’s just me time not even for my husband, daughter, parents; no one. Just me and my thoughts or anything that I loved to do.
- I started putting on music during the day, and to my surprise, my daughter started playing alone for a little longer. Music gave me mental peace as well as more time to finish my work without interruption.
- I revamped my baby’s routine and matched her lunch and dinner timings with ours, so that she would eat along with us, which not only saved 2 hours every day but also reduced the effort it took to run behind her to feed her.
- I started grooming myself. I realised I have just become a mother, but the woman in me still wants to look beautiful, be pampered, and be appreciated by her husband. I started small things like applying nail paint, putting on the clothes I love, stopped having a bun 24*7, working out a little, etc. This makes me feel happy every time I look at myself in the mirror.
- I started getting in touch with my friends whom I had not spoken to since the baby was born. It gave me a life beyond motherhood, and I made sure I speak least about my baby and more about other topics.
To my surprise, these small changes helped me give myself more rest, more me-time and most importantly. a happy me. Somewhere, the positivity in me bought an overall change in the house and also in my baby, and I started reacting calmly to her and her breakdowns.
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