I became a first-time mom when I was 27 years old. I had a miscarriage before and an ovarian cyst surgery. I was elated when I found out that we were expecting again, but at the same time scared because of my previous experiences. But we were very fortunate, and to cut the long story short, we welcomed a lovely boy on 08.02.2018. I knew that having a baby would change my life. I was an independent young woman, living in the city on my own, taking care of my own needs and I felt that I was sufficient and efficient enough to take care of myself and my life. I was ready to take on responsibilities and giving birth to my baby boy did that. What I didn’t know was, the responsibility that I was so ready to take on was nothing. It wasn’t just a responsibility, it was a sacrifice . That’s how I felt. It was a 24×7 job. The nights were long and endless. I was tired, I felt caged with the responsibility of another human life and not just mine. Sometimes I felt like running away, and just sat in the bathroom. I wasn’t handling well. I looked at pictures of my friends on FB and other social media, where they kept posting pictures of their babies. They looked happy, they seemed to enjoy the phase and it made me wonder what made them so? Here I was on the verge of breaking emotionally, physically and mentally. And here they were making it look so easy. Did their mom give them any training, or was it inborn? Maybe some people are born with special talents, so many things were spiralling in my mind.
But with two weeks gone, my C-Section stitches were healing up, and I was adapting with my new role. I realised, all I needed was the support from family and friends, which I was very lucky to have and especially a loving husband. That did the trick. But I think, the most difficult part I felt was that life was not just mine anymore. I had to share my everything- my body, my time, my sleep with someone else. I had to manage and adjust with it. And I just wasn’t ready for my independence to be taken away from me. But then, I fell head over heels in love with my little one, and it was the easiest thing I ever did, the most gratifying. It made me selfless, and I gave my whole heart away with his one smile, my life has become his and he has become my life.
P.S. – I want to tell those new mom’s, struggling with this new phase of life, don’t give up, I know it is not easy. It will pass, and you won’t even know how the time passes and when you have to start running around for school admissions. Always remember “the nights are long but the days are short”.
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