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I still remember the day when I was blessed with my angel Nitya. The first words that came out of my mouth were “I love you, angel.” It was the most beautiful moment of my life, and the feeling of motherhood is inexpressible.
My baby was born prematurely at eight months, so I was a little scared, but by the grace of God, my baby was doing fine. Even then, the doctors kept her in NICU for a few days. I felt like the hospital was ripping us off by taking advantage of our situation. During that time, I was alone in the room without the baby, and I was crying all the time. My husband took me to NICU to meet my angel, and I can’t describe that moment to any parent, my angel’s body was covered with wires, pipes, and syringes, and she was just a day old. I ran from the NICU crying and came back to the room. My husband supported me, but it was a painful time for me as it would be for any parent seeing their child in this condition. I couldn’t sleep the entire night, and I could not stop crying. The next morning, I asked my husband to take me to NICU. We went at 6 in the morning, and my angel was sleeping. When she heard us, she woke up immediately as if she was waiting for us and she wanted to say something to us. I ould imagine her saying, “Mumma papa, don’t leave me alone, take me with you.” I requested the doctor to shift her to my room, and they declined.
I was discharged the next day as it was a normal delivery. Coming home without my baby was like living without air. Everyone was telling me not to cry, and how everything will be fine but being a mother in such a situation, you can’t listen to all this. The only thing that’s important for you is your child. I had to express milk and send it to the hospital for my baby. Another day passed, and I decided that I will stay with my angel in NICU. The doctor told me that I couldn’t do that, but I didn’t listen to them and sat there for the entire day. Finally, they agreed to shift the baby to the ward, and when I held her in my arms, she was looking at me with her tiny eyes, and it felt like she was saying, “Mumma, I missed you a lot, where were you all these days?” This was the day when I really became a mom. Time passed, and we were discharged from the hospital.
We finally came home, and her grandmother welcomed us by doing aarti pooja and a Hindu ritual called Nunrai. It was a great moment in our lives, and her tiny hands were saying something to us. This is how my experience of motherhood started. My respect for all the mothers, including my mom, has increased, and I believe that a mother is the only person who can love you unconditionally, without any expectations.
Love you, mom, and I love you, my darling angel, Nitya.
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