Why We Shouldn’t Strive to Be Perfect Mothers

By Dilpreet Kaur Virk - Updated: April 1, 2020

Women tend to be more sensitive compared to men. Once we become mothers, we start overthinking even more. Its is good to be active, alert and introspective. It helps in improvisation. But we often fall in a mental trap of becoming a perfect mother for our kids. We do so many things to prove that we are the best. In the entire process, we either go overboard in doing something or start feeling guilty—guilty of not doing things in the perfect way.

Have you ever thought, what is the outcome of all this? We doubt ourselves by asking questions like “Am I a good mother? Am I doing enough? Does my child think I am the best?”

What if I tell you that “a perfect mother” is nothing but a myth. She does not exist in real life. Being a mom is not easy; it never was for anyone. So, stop taking pressure. We all make mistakes, and we learn from them. You love your child, and no one on Earth needs proof of that. Every time you feel things are not moving as per your definition of perfect, relax. Keep in mind that each child is different. They all behave differently and need to be treated differently.

I remember one of my friends after meeting my daughter said that my daughter is very disciplined, and she wished she could have taught her baby the same. This is so wrong, and you need to stop doing this to yourself. I agree. It is our moral duty to guide and teach our kids, and we do so many things to give them the best. I have taken advice from others, read books, watched parenting videos. But, after doing all that, I realised that I am taking too much pressure. No matter how hard you try, there will always be a way to be better.

So, what you need to focus on is that we all make mistakes, and it is normal. Stressing out or taking unnecessary pressure will not do any good to you or your child. In fact, it will make things worse. If you are not happy, how can you expect your child or your family to be happy?

What you need to do is stop overthinking and to love yourself. Stop judging yourself and stop underestimating yourself because a child does not need a perfect mother; they need a happy one.

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