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Before you start blaming your changed lifestyle, figure, looks or activities for poor after pregnancy sex, do take a pause. Intercourse after childbirth will be painful no matter what you do! This is a time when waiting will be well worth it.
Let’s face it, sex post childbirth can be a pain, quite literally. But just why do you have to go through this ordeal? There are plenty of reasons – mostly medical – and your best bet to awesome sex would be taking things easy for some time!
Top Reasons Why Sex Soon after Pregnancy is Plain Pain
1. The Smart Doctor
In case you went through a vaginal birth or if your doctor cut the perineum, it’s possible you have what is called “the Husband Stitch.” This extra stitch is targeted at making your vaginal opening smaller and often leads to painful sex after pregnancy. If you start having sex 2 weeks after giving birth, remember the stitch may not have healed and will cause discomfort.
2. No Extra Needlework
Feeling lucky that you needed no other needlework during childbirth and got only what was a must? Well, you’re sure to heal up pretty soon but in certain cases, you may face a scarred tissue at the perineum. These scar tissues are designed to make your vagina sensitive and tighter. However, they may make the vaginal muscles far too tight at a time when they should be relaxing! Little wonder then that sex after childbirth isn’t painless.
3. Naturally Torn, But Painful
Your woes with the scarred tissue are not over fast enough to let you enjoy sex 3 weeks after giving birth. You’ll have to work a lot to break down the scar tissue. Try to massage and knead the tissue with your hands. While you’re at it, why not ask your husband to give you a neck and shoulder massage too – that can be blissful!
4. Breastfeeding and Low Urge to Indulge
Be it sex after vaginal delivery or sex 4 weeks after giving birth, breastfeeding and vaginal dryness can cause pain. You have reduced natural hormone levels, both within and outside your vagina, and this lowers your sex drive. At this point, it becomes important to use some kind of lubricant – olive oil, coconut oil, or some synthetic lube – to get things moving smoothly.
5. C-section Can Be a Deterrent Too
Yet another deterrent to having sex after pregnancy is a C-section. This creates scars which, if not taken care of, grow down into the underlying layers to create problems related to bowel movements, bladder, and even painful sex. If you’ve gone through repeat C-sections, then you’ll really need to take care and break down those scars with massages and therapy. And if you initially attempted a vaginal delivery, after which you had to go for a C-section, well, that’s a lot your body had to go through!
6. Timing Matters Too
Your pelvic muscles need to be super relaxed for you to be able to enjoy having sex. If you are going through with it at the wrong time, such as when you’re tensed or alert because of the baby, it doesn’t leave much room for you to relax, thereby contributing to the pain.
Tips for Easing Pain During Sex After Childbirth
It may seem incredulous to even think of sex while you’re in pain and your body is still repairing itself; but this does not mean that you will never experience pleasure again. Follow these tips to get back into action with much less pain.
1. Get the Doctor’s Green Signal
There isn’t a set waiting period that you have to abstain from sex from; however, most doctors will advice waiting for 4 to 6 weeks before having sex, giving the body necessary time to heal. Take the doctor’s advice as well as your own judgement call.
2. Foreplay is a Requirement
You can’t jump back into passionate and aggressive sex right from the get-go. Ease your way into it quite slowly, and make sure your partner understands it too. Your partner may have no trouble getting into action due to the dry spell he’s been through, but that doesn’t hold tru for you! Go slow, be very intimate, and try plenty of measures to stimulate and arouse yourself. As mentioned earlier, natural lubricants like coconut oil can be helpful too. A warm water bath and relaxing massage can also help soothe you and get into the mood.
3. Try Different Positions
Your earlier go-to position may need to change if it is causing you pain right now. But this is the time for you to experiment, and who knows, you may find your new favourite position now! Oral and manual stimulation can be another thing for you to try during this phase.
4. ‘Tis the Time for Exercise!
Kegel exercises are a pregnancy favourite and need to continue post delivery too, to ensure that the pelvic floor is strengthened.
5. Communicate Openly
It’s going to take you some time to really get back in the game with all your expertise. Take it slow and make sure that you are open with your partner – tell him your needs and difficulties, so that you both are able to enjoy the act together, and keep the inconveniences at a minimum.
You deserve to have non-painful sex after the baby, especially when your body has gone through the rigour of childbirth and is in need of pleasure to drown everything else. However, with the complications that childbirth and scar tissue can bring, it’s a good idea to rest and heal a bit more before you indulge in intimacy with the new Daddy!