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If your husband feels the need to always discuss things with his mom, it’s time to heed the warning signs of a mama’s boy. Having to compete with another woman for gaining the affection of your husband is not easy to accept. Making sure it never happens; now that’s the challenge!
Being married to a mama’s boy can be quite difficult. Such boys always need to stay attached to the apron strings of their moms without apology. Having to deal with the “other woman” in your husband’s life can lead to one too many arguments. Here is what you might have to deal with while being married to a mama’s boy. Also, in case you’re a tad confused about whether you’re married to one or not, find out the warning signs.
The Difficulties of Being Married to a Mama’s Boy
1. Proof in the Food
If you’re married to a mama’s boy, chances are, your cooking will constantly be compared to that of his moms. This can sometimes be one of the biggest signs of a mama’s boy. From the noodles you make to the banana bread you bake, he will always compare the dish to his mom’s cooking. Does he intend to be mean? Well, no! But he does like driving the point home that he wants food cooked in a way that he is used to. This constant comparison can be quite discouraging at times but don’t let this affect you.
2. “But Mom Used to Do it Like This!”
Unfortunately, the comparisons between you and his mom may not be restricted to the dishes you prepare. It may come about in the way you handle a situation, carry out household tasks, maintain your home – sometimes, even in the way you treat him. But there are certain parts that you definitely must draw the line at. He may not be entirely responsible for liking something ‘the way mom used to do it’, but it’s up to you to also take a stand on certain matters, and establish that your way (though entirely different) is not bad at all! Don’t let this become a big argument though; be gentle and show him the efforts you’re taking to make sure that things are perfect!
3. The Talking Pair
Does your husband call his mom way more than he calls you? Yes? Then the feeling of knowing that he shares a deeper relationship with his mom in comparison to you can get highly frustrating. Well, calm down! You will have to make peace with your mom-in-law calling her son every day to check up on him, asking him if he has eaten, and even meddling in domestic problems sometimes.
4. Back to Being a Boy
One of the most annoying truths about loving a mama’s boy is that he becomes a child when he is around her. The constant craving for attention and the pampering he receives really makes you wonder who did you really marry! You will, unfortunately, be caught in the middle of this little role play every time you visit his mom’s place.
5. The Unexpected Guest
You know you are married to a mama’s boy when her unexpected visit is welcomed by her son. She can show up unannounced, and then you are expected to be all nice and polite around her. What’s more? You are supposed to show that you are actually super happy that she came. And when she’s in, she’ll prepare food for him and even gives him his medicine if he’s not keeping well. While you might find it highly inappropriate, your husband will enjoy the attention. This can be difficult to deal with in the beginning. Having a word about the arrangement with him might help a bit; so open up and take your chance.
6. Being the “Other Woman”
Not to sound gross or absurd, but it’s true – after all, you did come second in his life, after a woman he dearly loves. This could either mean that you receive too much or too less attention from your husband – and it could also mean that one person in your three-party relationship is not going to be too happy! Either your mother-in-law who feels comparatively insignificant or you, if his attention is focused more on his mommy! This is where you step in and ensure that your man gives you the respect and attention that you deserve, while simultaneously assuring your MIL that you’re not here to steal her boy away from her too!
What to Do If You’re Married to a Mama’s Boy?
Nothing! Well… it’s not that you can’t, but ideally, you shouldn’t do anything that can hurt him or his mother (and indirectly, yourself). At the end of the day, he is faithful to you also. It’s just that his mom isn’t ready to accept his love getting divided amongst you and her. So she feels the need to hold on to her son with all the love she can. Dealing with a little mom-attachment syndrome shouldn’t hurt. After all, who isn’t attached to their moms? But that doesn’t mean all hope is lost and you remain unhappy everytime you feel like your husband is choosing his mom over you.
Avoid nagging at all costs. It’s just going to irritate him (and in turn, you) when you keep bringing up what upset you and how his mom seems to be his priority, and can ultimately result in a situation where he feels the need to strain relationships to keep people happy. Now that’s not going to do much good to anyone, is it? Instead, have patience and tackle it in a mature manner, where you let the little things slide and have conversations about the big issues only.
We are also of the opinion that if it’s getting a tad bit too much, speak to him or go directly to your mom-in-law this time and get things clarified. Tell her that you aren’t here to snatch her son from her, but to make his life better and happier! You never know, she’ll start seeing things in the right light and understand your perspective. In fact, look for opportunities to spend quality time with her too, just you and your ‘other mom’. This will help you understand her better and can strengthen the relationship between you guys too!
And lastly, every coin has two sides, and believe it or not, there’s an advantage to marrying a mama’s boy!
The Positive side? Really?
Well, we can’t really generalise people when it comes to any assumptions. But a mama’s boy has grown up treating his mom with love and respect, and it could reflect in your relationship with him too. At least that’s your saving grace or your silver lining!
We’d love to hear your thoughts and views on this. Comment below to let us know if you agree or disagree.