Emotions and attachments are what makes humans bond.
I delivered a baby girl last month. We planned our second baby for our 5 year old son, who assumed on his own that he will soon have a sister. His excitement for a sibling was so sparkling that we both got through the nine months easily.
My son helped me a lot in this. How children grow up and be so adjusting, I wonder. Along with this, he got to know from one of his friends that to get a baby, the mother has to go to the hospital for a couple of days and undergo an operation. He got scared and at once said that he did not desire a sibling any longer – mom was more important to him. We made him understand and pacified him with examples around us, but he was so fearful that he started puking on the day of delivery! These kids love you so much, that nothing is above their unbounded love for you.
He wanted a sister, and God gifted him the same. He was on cloud 9 after having her in his lap. I thanked God for listening to my little one’s prayers and for completing my family.
Now, here’s the twist – all the excitement, happiness and love for his sister starting dimming as he had to now share his parents with her. He got upset seeing me feed the baby the entire day, because I was paying less attention to him. Suddenly in a day even our behaviour changed towards him – we started to expect that he would understand. He had this jealous feeling for a week and became cranky. He made statements like, “mummy doesn’t love my anymore”. This was the time we needed to balance the situation.
We told him that she was his baby, and no matter what he does, we will only love him. We prioritsed many things for him, like asking him what clothes he would like to wear, getting him a toy first, and serving him his favourite food. Now my daughter is almost one month old, and he has accepted her.
Friends, when my near and dear ones got to know about my second pregnancy, all of them suggested to take care of the elder kids’ emotional needs first. If not treated well in time, it can harm the child a lot. He can start feeling lonely and can start hating the other kid. It’s very natural, but managing them well can result in them being loving siblings.
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