Push push push – the nurses and doctors were shouting. I did not know what was I doing at that time, but I made sure that I am responsible to bring this new soul into this world. I did my best to introduce my daughter to this world. I was thrilled to see my daughter in the doctor’s hand. She made it successfully. She was crying cluelessly. I was proud to see her doing well.
I met her again in my hospital room. She was dreamy and falling asleep. I asked my mother to keep her in my arms. I don’t know where I found the courage to hold her. I had never lifted an hour-old baby before. But when I held her for the first time, I was confident. We bonded instantly. This is one of the miracles of God.
My mother asked me to feed her. It was a new experience. I tried my best to feed her. I never taught her how to suck or draw milk from my breast. But I could see my daughter struggling to suck milk from my breast. I was in tears when I found that I am unable to lactate her. I asked the doctor to give her formula milk but she asked me to wait until my daughter does the suction. She made it. She drew milk from my breast. I waited patiently for her to learn suction, but I experienced suffering from breast engorgement. I bought a breast pump for pumping the milk. I gave the thick colostrum to my daughter. Eventually, she learnt and mastered it. I realised at that moment, so far my breast has been the most romantic part of the body to me. But after feeding her, it has become a beautiful food-producing organ to me. These experiences changed my idea about my body.
I looked at my stretch marks as beautiful drawings made by my daughter. I no more looked like my previous self. I gained 15 kgs or more. My daughter transformed me into a new person. And also appointed me at a new post called ‘Mother.’ I experienced the adventurous journey of motherhood.
I really enjoyed the process of becoming a mother. It was not something I was taught. I was just innately created to be a mother and to do everything instantly. So every time a new baby is born, a new mother is born with extraordinary instincts. These instincts made me question everything. To be sceptical about everything. I even questioned my doctor about her stools being green!
I enjoyed the experience of killing mosquitoes to give my baby a healthy ambience and learning the names of medical drugs and vaccines. I learnt to be aware of everything. I was even motivated to upgrade myself, to be a role model for my little angel, Tharagai, three months old.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this experience of mine!
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