In Parenting, Is There a Clear Definition of How Much is Too Much?

By Samriddhi Bajpai - Updated: March 30, 2019

It’s not just a sentence, but these terms have become a feeling for a first-time mother, especially when she’s taking care of the child all by herself!

How Much is Too Much Exactly?

Be it in terms of any of the following, how do you know what is best or the right approach to that challenge?

Being lenient or strict, or a blend of two
Breastfeeding the baby or trying to wean it off
Making them learn things through play or teaching the old-school way
Meal portions and a balanced diet
Trying to safeguard them from the ills & fears of the unknown (especially with the ‘good touch, bad touch’ and to always be around parents for safety)
Being a helicopter mom, because you are assured that your child is safe & enjoying the moment
Getting worked up by comparing the milestones achieved & yet to be accomplished by your kid
Feeling anxious about their food habits, appetite, balanced diet
Crying your heart out if the little one is in pain or suffering, yet standing tall in front of family
Changing all your routines to prioritize the lives of your children

I always say, there should be a balance of everything in life because after all, we are the role models for our children (for a good amount of time if not till eternity).

We should not stifle them, instead, we should lead such a life where we are able to create an atmosphere and nurture them with thoughts like these:

It’s ok to let go (sometimes).
It’s not our responsibility to correct every wrongdoing of others.
If you haven’t aced something, maybe you need to practice it more. Practice makes a person perfect if the dreams are realistic and we need to teach this no matter how hard it is.

However, we need not show all our emotions of panic or angst when our child doesn’t meet our expectations or cry ourselves when dropping them to school or college for the first time. Nor should we try to hide all our emotions, because sometimes they need warmth and at the same time they need strength too.

Parenting teaches us a lot, not just about ourselves but our spouse and the little being we brought to this world.

So, balance out everything, don’t burden anyone with your expectations, but yes, make the people around you learn to differentiate between good and bad, reality and delusions. Don’t stress out about some small unaccomplished victory of your child, because he might be acing things other children can’t do yet (and you might have missed out on noticing it because you were too busy teaching him the ABC’s because your neighbour’s 2-year-old daughter knows all the alphabets).

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