A robust support system is essential for a happy and healthy mind. Some of us are fortunate enough to have a built-in support system that remains with or near our family. I am incredibly lucky to have it. I’ve always had a close relationship with my family. However, my husband and I decided to live with my family during my pregnancy. It was something I owed to myself and my child. The rest of the journey has been fantastic. Sometimes I wonder, would our child be equally happy and connected, if we had stayed on our own. And it makes me wonder about the couples who are unable to have their families with them during these moments.
For some reasons, if you can’t have a built-in support system, then you need to build your own. These are some ideas on how to do it and would love to hear some of yours:
1. Friends: When I say friends, it’s not Instagram, Facebook, or WhatsApp friends. The more advance is the digital connection, the less is the human connection. So, get away from being connected via social media. Find a few friends whom you can call and talk about anything and everything. I am sure you would have a few people with whom you can connect easily. But put in the effort to maintain that connection. It does take some time from your busy schedule but it’s worth it.
2. Relatives, cousins: Sometimes building a support system from scratch is not realistic. So always think of the people you loved and were close to. During our childhood, we have many people we loved and were connected with. But as we grow, we get disconnected. Don’t let this take over our connection. You know that person who had a positive impact on you. Work on building a deeper connections with them.
3. Co-workers, neighbours: These are the people around you. So, it’s always good to find a few whom you could relate to and have a deeper connection. This is a good way of building a support system with your existing schedule. I always considered colleagues at work as my extended family. Because I spend more time with them than my friends and family. So why not build the bond.
4. Develop a hobby and make friends with people who share your interests: When I advise construct a hobby around your schedule, you might think I’m crazy. But I insist, please do. That’s the one thing that will keep you going when you are tired of your routine. Break up the monotony of your daily routine. Also, always connect with people who share your interests. If you can’t make it in person, go online.
5. You and just you: None of the above will help you build a support system if you don’t allow it. So, it’s very important you let people come into support. It is ok. Be kind to yourself.
As the saying goes “It takes a village to raise a child” If not a village, build a small community for yourself and your child. Go find and build it today. You deserve it.
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