I have always been a person who believes in freedom. I believe in making choices for myself. My mother always encouraged me to decide what I want and follow my dreams. While practising advocacy at the Bombay High Court, I was introduced to my husband. We met through an arranged marriage setting and soon fell in love. As his job was in Oman, I had to quit my legal practice and relocate to Oman. There, I started working for an international law firm but after four years of working in a dissatisfying job, I quit. Then my writing journey began with my blog “Dreamers, Passion Seekers and Go-Getters (www.passion-goals.blogspot.com). After a year of starting my writing career, I was blessed with a baby girl. On hearing the news of my pregnancy, my husband and I were super excited. We went through a lot of emotional turmoil during this period as my father in law passed away.Despite the challenges, we were blessed with a beautiful, healthy baby girl. When I heard her first cry, I was in tears. But the real challenge started when we headed to my parents’ house after delivery. As I was in India only for the delivery, I wanted my parents and my brother to spend as much time as they could with the baby. After all, they became grandparents and uncle respectively. They love my daughter unconditionally. I was recovering at that time. My husband had to return to Oman for work. Every time, my little girl didn’t feed or sleep properly, my family members helped me take care of her. I was in India till my little princess turned 2 months of age. My mother was kind enough to accompany me to Oman for the next 2 months to help me with the baby.When the time came for my mother to leave, I realised how attached my daughter was to her grandmother. Every time she wanted to sleep, she wanted my mom. This became a total nightmare. I was so stressed about dealing with my own daughter all alone. My husband and my mother kept telling me that all will be fine but I knew it wouldn’t. My intention was to let my baby spend as much time as she could with my parents and my brother. But I made a big mistake by spending less time with her whenever she was awake and active.Some people may judge me for being a bad mom as I didn’t spend 24 hours with my baby during her first three months. I am still breastfeeding her but she isn’t as attached to me as she is to my mother. Does that make me a bad mom? Isn’t a mother supposed to be the closest person to her child? Does this mean that I am not doing enough?
I may not be the perfect mom to my little princess;
I may not be the best wife;
Yet nobody can say that I love my family less.
Nobody can judge my life.
It’s easy to point at me and call me a bad mom,
Just because every day I need some time for myself.
I may be imperfect and I may not be the ideal mom,
But my baby knows that I love her and to her, I am the best mom.
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