Who’s Hubby’s First Confidant: You or His Mom?
Husbands sometimes choose their mother over their wife – a very commonplace occurrence happening in every other woman’s life. Your mother-in-law meddles in your affairs and dominates decisions taken by your hubby. Some moms-in-law can be highly opinionated and overall a concern for your married life. Now, what do you do?
Your mother-in-law lives in a different city, but comes visiting often. From far and near alike, she ends up being the person your hubby confides in before you. What do you do when your hubby still confides just in his mom even after years of marriage? Take heart, there’s a solution for all that strife.
What Happens When Husband Chooses Mother over Wife?
1. Tell your husband he cannot sideline you
It’s incorrect if your hubby shuts you out when he’s talking to his mother in private. The discomfiting feelings that follow, especially when he talks at length to her about things he chooses not to discuss with you, can raise concerns. This secrecy can make things turn from bad to worse. These are the times when you should solicit a serious discussion with your man.
2. Be glad someone is “all ears”
In some cases, it’s good that the husband tells everything to his mom than the wife; at least he has a confidant in his life! Pent-up emotions and bottled up negativities are disasters in waiting and are best got rid off at the earliest. If you think from a different and fresh perspective, you would know that you’re benefitting too. So, take a step back and try to accept that sometimes, there’s nothing incorrect about a married son sharing it all with his mom.
3. Psychological support or over-dependence in decision making?
Analyze carefully. Is your hubby gaining support for his important decisions through long discussions with his mom? Are those decisions reaping good results? If yes, then it’s absolutely okay to take suggestions from his mom but the final decision has to be taken by both of you, as a couple. Any level of over dependence on the points discussed in your absence should not make you unhappy—if it does it’s not worth the cause. At the end of the day, you both have to live with each other, right?
4. Is there any conflict of interest?
In case of any conflicting interests, he should avoid taking sides with his mother and putting your wishes on the back burner. Remember, a psychological break from parents is the need of the hour at this point of life to estimate a marriage’s full potential. However, this does not mean that he behaves unkindly or arrogantly with his mother.
Harmony and freedom are important in all in-law relationships. Here, your hubby and you need to discuss things mutually and then lay down the lines for all others, including your mother-in-law. With sound thought processes and a cordial approach to current (and future situations) in place, you’ll get to handle her presence in better ways.