Parenting an Overly Competitive Child – Help Kids Strive for Success in a Positive Way

Imagine your little one pouting and declaring they are the prettiest in their class or the best on the cricket team! While this seems cute occasionally, it can get out of hand if you do not parent your child correctly. Being competitive is a good thing. But pushing oneself over the edge to be the best or even becoming a know-it-all braggart can send your child on a downward spiral if left unchecked. Therefore, it is crucial to understand what makes children competitive, how to encourage healthy competition, and how to manage a hyper-competitive child. In this article, we’ll explore effective strategies to help your child strive for success in a positive and balanced way, 

Why Are Some Kids Competitive?

Competition has become more perilous and scaled up than before. We are pushing our children from a much younger age to be brighter and better to get into prestigious schools, sports clubs, or exchange programs. But on the other hand, we protect our children by indulging them with under-discipline. Society, too, over time, has put unwarranted pressure on our children. The media is full of stories about overnight stars, athletes cheating to be successful, reality competitions and so on, which peddle the idea that winning is everything. This sends out a message to our children that they must be winners all the time. An entire generation is walking around in fear of losing. This fear can threaten our children’s lives by pushing them towards unrealistic perfectionism or drag them down by stopping them from even trying.

Signs Your Child Might be Hyper-Competitive

It is not hard to spot a hyper-competitive child. There is always a tell when a child is overly competitive:

• They tend to be negatively critical of themselves.
• Your child brags about themselves at every chance they get.
• Cheating to win doesn’t seem like a bad thing.
• Your child doesn’t have any respect for peers or competitors.
• Your child is burning themselves out in trying to be the best.
• They throw tantrums, talk back, or sulk when they do not win.
• They struggle to work as a part of a team and may try to take over or control group activities.
• They are unwilling to try new things or take risks for fear of not being the best. 

How to Teach Control to a Super Competitive Child?

It is a challenging task to parent an overly competitive child. Raising a competitive child requires intelligent and perceptive parenting skills. Here is how you can teach your child to enter a contest and take part productively rather than be hyper-competitive.

1. Channel Their Passion Correctly

Teach your child to enjoy what they do while highlighting that they can do more than win with their talent. They can be part of a team, make friends, and have fun.

2. Cultivate Good Leadership in Your Child

Get your child to teach others. This will help your child feel a sense of accomplishment and motivate them to do well to set the right example.

3. Provide Positive Reinforcement and Appreciate Them

Appreciate your child’s strengths. Please encourage them to work on their strengths and stimulate them enough to want to be good. Tell them how their efforts are more important than the outcome.

4. Teach them to Lose Gracefully

Show your child unconditional love and support when they lose. This will help them lose gracefully. Teach them that trying is more important than winning. Humility and grace must be at the top of your child’s priorities.

5. Encourage Children to Widen their Horizon

Get your child to try out new challenges. Often, children are afraid to take up new tasks because they risk failure. Help them understand that they need to try to find out what they are naturally good at.

6. Call Out Negative Behaviour

If your baby slaps his iPad in frustration or shouts at his laces because he can’t get them on, talk to them about it. Remind them that the behaviour is not alright and doesn’t balance out for being good at something else.

7. Help Them Prioritise What They Need to Achieve

Ensure your children only sign up for what they can handle. They will run themselves ragged in trying to be an over-achiever. Teach your kid to prioritise their tasks appropriately.

8. Do Not Push Your Agenda on Your Child

Remember that your child has their own life. It involves aspirations, likes and dislikes that are separate from yours. Please do not push your agenda on your child because you think it is what’s right for them.

FAQs

1. Is competitiveness bad for children?

Competitiveness itself is not bad for children. Healthy competition can teach valuable life skills such as teamwork, goal setting, and handling success and failure. However, problems arise when competitiveness becomes excessive or is fueled by unhealthy attitudes such as envy, aggression, or a win-at-all-costs mentality.

2. How can I help my child manage disappointment and failure in competitive situations?

You can help your child manage disappointment and failure in competitive situations by providing emotional support, teaching resilience, and reframing failure as a learning opportunity. Please encourage your child to express their feelings and validate their emotions, letting them know that it’s okay to feel disappointed or upset. Encourage them to analyse what went wrong, what they can learn from the experience, and how they can improve next time.

3. When should I seek professional help for my child’s competitive behaviour?

You should seek professional help for your child’s competitive behaviour if it significantly interferes with their relationships, academic performance, or overall well-being. Signs that may indicate a need for professional intervention include extreme aggression or hostility towards others in competitive situations, chronic feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem related to competition, excessive preoccupation with winning to the detriment of other areas of life, or difficulty regulating emotions and coping with disappointment or failure. 

It is essential to strike a balance so your child is not discouraged by competition, but neither do they become self-defeating perfectionists. Set the proper standards, and be loving and kind to your child so they blossom into achievers who respect healthy competition and know when to walk away gracefully.

Also Read:

Tips for Teaching Patience to Your Kid
Positive Discipline Techniques That Work for Children
How to Develop Emotional Intelligence (EQ) in Kids?
Tips for Handling Child With Behavioural Problems at School