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Divorce can be treacherous and leave behind devastating effects on the young minds of kids. Understanding how divorce affects children and learning to live with someone who was a product of separation is key to having a peaceful marital life. Learn how to hit the right chords with some tips.
Even though divorced couples move on in life, the effects of their separation continue to reverberate in the lives of their children, well into adulthood. Children of divorce, however well-adjusted or resilient they seem to be, often face bitter experiences when it comes to romantic relationships later on. If you know someone in this situation, you need to learn how to handle them delicately.
Negative Impact of Divorce on Children
1. They Find It Difficult to Trust People
According to experts, trust issues are bound to arise in people who’ve seen their parents’ married life crumbling. Witnessing the erosion of trust between their parents makes it hard for them to place their faith in other people. If you’ve fallen in love with someone whose parents divorced and now share a less than amicable relationship, you might find yourself having to reassure him every now and then. Be patient and don’t give him cause to doubt you. Things will fall into place soon.
2. They Nurse Old Wounds
It’s not always easy to comprehend how divorce affects children. Needless to say, it impacts their future greatly. Many tend to feel the pain for years to come, while others put on a brave face and try to shrug it off. Yet, no matter how old they get, they have to keep dealing with the fact that their parents parted ways.
3. You Have to Win Their Confidence Completely
The effects of divorce on children include making them apprehensive about the promises made by others. You need to be dependable and true to your word. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Your partner should have the confidence of being able to count on you in his hour of need at all times.
4. They Look for Clarity in Relationships
Divorces leave behind confused and scared children who grow up into adults who have the same fears.These adults are left with suppressed feelings and the fear of being abandoned once more. Adults with divorced parents require an empathetic approach as they rarely talk about their feelings and prefer to remain safe in their own cocoon. They need to be drawn out very carefully.
5. Don’t Make Sudden Changes
A divorce comes in the form of a traumatic change for children. As a result, they can grow up hating and fearing change as it brings back unpleasant memories, so it’s best to avoid making any sudden transformations. A slow and steady approach is best suited for a spouse or friend who is the child of divorce.
Unhappy marriages, divorce and other frayed marital relationships create the grounds for nervousness, mistrust, lack of confidence and an overall rebellious approach in the minds of children. When they attain adulthood, they seek complete trust and more than their share of love. If you’re married to someone who’s gone through a parental divorce, give him as much love and understanding as possible.