Struggles of a Single Mother Through Grief and Joy

Struggles of a Single Mother Through Grief and Joy

My mother is a single mom who has loved me more than anyone in the world. I never felt the need to question her about my father’s whereabouts as I never missed his absence. As I grew up, I realized the society always asks for the father’s identity.

My parents were separated when I was born. After growing up an adult, I started missing the presence of my father. I saw my friends’ fathers with them, but I didn’t have one, which made me question my mom. After an excellent upbringing and providing me with everything (both emotionally and materialistically), she didn’t lose her temper or doubt my intentions when I asked her about my father. She just replied that they were separated when I was young. I didn’t understand what she had gone through, and gradually my questions turned into taunts. I started doubting her worth as a good wife and thought she must have had adjustment issues with my father. I completely forgot what she had done for me when the man I was fighting for was never around. I once also told her I’d prove to her what good marriage and proper parenting are when I become a wife and a mom!

Now, I am 30 and a mother of an adorable son. I have a husband with whom I’m not separated, but I am still a single mother, managing everything single-handedly. As I wake up every morning, managing house chores and my baby, along with my online teaching job, I realize what she did back then needed a lot of courage. She had the option of leaving me, but she didn’t. She had a meager salary but raised me well and educated me. Today, when my husband is unemployed and doesn’t wish to take up parenting duties as he feels it is solely a mother’s job, I have the courage, ability, and education to manage my house, child, and career alone. My husband is a bearer of patriarchy and doesn’t even encourage a working woman; however, now he is forced to accept my job as he is unemployed.

I believe what I am doing today is nothing great or special, as being a single mom is not a new concept. Many mothers have raised their kids single-handedly since time immemorial. What has changed now is that society has started accepting it. Being a single parent is not a shame; it rather needs a lot of courage. Though my marriage isn’t working well in actual terms, as a mother, I am trying my best and doing the same for my child that my mother had done for me.

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