Motherhood and Me – To Have a Baby or Not

This question I believe has always been complex. As simple it is to know what we want and don’t want, the difficult part lies in the understanding of the fact whether to have it or not.

I got married four years ago and just like every other marriage in our country after some time you are asked to start planning your family. It feels as if your parents are after your life to give them a grandchild. I was also constantly asked for the same.

This question is never asked to a man but always a woman is the one who has to be answerable. I also have a career, I love my independence and am equally proud of the fact that I am able to handle my own finances.

So after a lot of apprehensions whether I want a baby or not, the answer was fairly simple that I did want a family of my own at some point but when and why to have one was always a concern.

After thinking about it for a year, I realised one can never be prepared for bringing up a new life mentally, however one can always prepare themselves physically.

Finally, after three years of marriage, we decided to plan our family. And trust me if you have a family to take care of you it all becomes easier. My parents have been that force behind my well being throughout my pregnancy.

It is indeed a huge responsibility to nurture and bring up a child and more than anything you are worried whether you will be a good parent or not. We stress ourselves so much because of this society and peer pressure that we hardly realise and enjoy the little moments in our life.

Today when I am writing this, I am a mother of a 2-month-old child and this is the greatest blessing I have received, not because it was growing inside me for 9 months (obviously that is one reason) but because of that beautiful face, those tiny hands and feet that make you love them the moment you see.

Changing his nappies to bathing him, to feeding I have started to enjoy all of it. A woman who could not stay at home now loves being around her child. I love my independence but then when you think you have to return to your workplace in a few months, you feel like you need more time and this will always be like this. I may not be doing everything perfectly or might get irritated at times because of sleep deprivation, but I’ve realised that I am happier than before even after those sleepless nights, am satisfied because I have a family who is there to support me and guide me and I have this beautiful miracle who lights up my life.

Don’t be hard on yourself, we learn with our child and as they grow we also grow as parents. This is my new mantra for life.

So one can never be ready for a child but it is onto us whether we want to have it or not, sooner or later does not matter.

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