Communication in Marriage – Importance and Tips to Improve

If someone asks you what the true basis of a happy married life is, you may say love, commitment, honesty and other such things. However, how often do we talk about the importance of communication in a marriage? Just because two people are spending most of their time under one roof, does not mean that they communicate effectively with each other. To sustain a happy marriage and have a strong bond with your spouse, it is essential that there is effective communication between the two. Communication is not just about words; it is about actions or non-verbal communication that holds great significance too. Let us acquaint you with the importance of communication, tips to improve it and various other aspects related to it, in the following post.

What Is Communication in Marriage?

Communication in marriage means talking and listening to each other. It’s about being honest and expressing how you feel while also trying to understand your partner’s feelings. When couples communicate well, they can solve problems together and build trust. It’s important to speak kindly and respectfully to each other, even when you disagree. Good communication helps couples feel close and connected, making their relationship stronger. It’s something they need to work on together to keep their marriage happy and healthy.

Different Types of Communications in Marriage

In marriage, communication between husband and wife takes on various forms, each serving a distinct purpose in nurturing the relationship. From everyday conversations to more profound discussions, these communication types contribute to understanding, connection, and problem-solving between spouses.

1. Verbal Communication

Verbal communication involves spoken words exchanged between partners. It encompasses everyday conversations, discussing plans, sharing thoughts and feelings, and expressing needs. Effective verbal communication relies on active listening and clear expression, fostering understanding and empathy between spouses.

2. Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication encompasses gestures, facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. It often complements verbal communication, conveying emotions, attitudes, and intentions. Understanding nonverbal cues is essential in interpreting underlying feelings and strengthening emotional connection in marriage.

3. Emotional Communication

Emotional communication involves the expression and understanding of emotions within the marital relationship. It entails sharing vulnerable feelings, such as love, joy, sadness, anger, and fear, and empathizing with each other’s emotional experiences. Healthy emotional communication fosters intimacy, trust, and mutual support between spouses.

Importance of Communication in a Marriage

Why is communication so important to have a long, fulfilling relationship with your better half? What is the role of communication in marriage? Well, here are some points that emphasise the importance of communication in marriage:

1. No Communication Implies No Interest

If you do not know what is happening in your partner’s life or what issues they may be dealing with, you may not be able to understand or empathise. This would slowly lead to a lack of interest in each other’s lives and, thus, strained relationships; therefore, it is important to have effective communication.

2. Better Understanding

This is the most important benefit of communication in marriage. Couples who often talk, discuss their lives or communicate with each regularly not only have a better understanding with each other, but it also helps them to have a stronger bond with each other. When you understand your spouse and the situations they may be dealing with, there would be lesser scope for misunderstanding or ambiguity.

3. Better Marital Satisfaction

If you have opened the doors of effective communication with your spouse, you are more likely to experience a happy and peaceful relationship. Better communication means better satisfaction in a relationship in which you discuss everything with each other and, thus, fewer fights or quarrels.

4. Better Trust, Honesty and Respect

Marriage is a two-way street; you cannot expect everything without giving. Therefore, if you are honest with your spouse and give and receive positive feedback or share other issues with complete honesty, it helps build better trust in a relationship.

5. Better Connection

Healthy communication in marriage is a way of expressing your feelings and emotions towards your spouse. We understand that it is not important to express in words the love and affection that you have for your spouse. However, being expressive and vocal is one of the best ways of exhibiting your emotions towards your spouse, which would lead to a better connection.

Common Mistakes Couples Make in a Marriage and How to Solve Them?

Here are some common mistakes that most of us usually make and how we can solve them effectively:

1. More ‘Me’ in a Marriage

When you get married, the relationship is for both of you. However, sometimes we may forget that, and marriage becomes more about you than about your spouse. For example, on your anniversary every year, you want your husband to make you feel special and take you out to dinner, you would only plan a holiday when you can take leave, you would go only to places you prefer, etc. All this shows that your happiness or consent is more important than your partner’s.

How to Resolve ?

It is important that you consider your partner’s interests too. This would be possible when you communicate better with each other. Talk to your partner and know what they like or dislike, or what their idea of celebration or other such things is.

2. Shouting at The Spouse

Every relationship has its ups and downs, and these are bound to happen. However, if your spouse makes a mistake no matter how trivial or grave it is, it is not okay to shout or say nasty things to your spouse. It is imperative to understand that everyone makes mistakes, and when you shout or scold your spouse, you say hurtful things. Words uttered in anger often scar the other person’s feelings or emotions and it can be more evident when there is less or zero communication in a marriage.

How to Resolve ?

Even if you have a valid point to get angry, don’t be. Make sure you subtly put across your point without creating any ill feelings or negativity. Best is, you wait until you let your anger pass away and then talk to your spouse about it. The point is not to show displeasure or disappointment, but it is about not committing the same mistake again.

3. Do Not Compare or Compete

One of the silliest mistakes that married couples can make is comparing or competing with their spouse. This mistake may be more pronounced or evident in people with similar professional backgrounds or jobs. You may gloat about your professional achievements or accomplishments with your spouse or talk about their failures or setbacks negatively. Well, it is acceptable to have a competitive spirit or healthy competition with each other, but at no point should you demean your spouse, and lack of communication in marriage can worsen the situation.

How to Resolve?

The first and foremost thing to understand is that even if you are doing separate jobs, you both are a single entity or bonded with love – this means your relationship is more supreme than anything else. Be encouraging if your spouse fails, and be proud when your spouse excels. There is no room for any kind of comparison or competition between two people who love each other.

Different Ways of Effective Communication to Strengthen Your Marriage

You can have various types of communication with your spouse and strengthen the bond of your marriage. If you wish to know how to communicate in a relationship effectively or how to open communication in a marriage, well, here are some ways to effective communication in marriage:

1. Informal Communication

You discuss everything that matters or other silly things that happen during the day. You laugh together and have a great time talking about some light-hearted aspects of life. This kind of communication helps build a stronger bond with your spouse because you share fun and happy moments.

2. Talk About Challenges

Every marriage has lows and highs, and it is important to discuss and evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your marriage with each other. Such conversations help the relationship to grow and also assist in making any important changes or decisions in life.

3. Life-giving Communication

This is a proactive kind of conversation that is not instigated due to some need or demand, unlike the communications mentioned above. These types of communications emphasise having insightful discusses that includes talking about your fears, desires, dreams, hopes, etc. This includes meaningful conversations that can lead to meaningful relationships. These are very intimate conversations as it gives you glimpses of your spouse’s inner life.

Dos and Don’ts to Improve Your Communication in Marriage

We shall now discuss some marriage communication tips or some dos and don’ts that you need to practice to improve your communication in marriage:

1. Try and Be Specific

Whenever you wish to make a point, be specific. Don’t beat around the bush or talk about random insignificant things. Avoid generalising by making statements like “You always say/do this.” This may not solve the purpose; instead, you may end up hurting your spouse.

2. Be Respectful

No matter what kind of conversation you and your spouse are having, it is important to be respectful towards it. By being a good listener, you show that you respect your partner. When you listen, your partner will do the same when you have to say something.

3. Do Not Nag or Taunt

No one likes getting picked on or nagged, and the same holds true for your spouse. You cannot keep making your partner guilty or responsible for his past mistakes whenever you wish to make a point. Your partner wants to feel loved and wanted, and every time you taunt your partner, it not only causes hurt and pain but it also affects your relationship. Also, never drag in family members or friends when you have arguments.

4. Do Not Jump to Conclusions

Do not assume things or cook up your own stories without having a word with your spouse. You may get angry that your spouse did not pick up your call without even understanding or giving them a chance to explain why it happened. Talk to your spouse about what is bothering you regarding them and know the truth behind their side of the story.

5. Have Regular Conversations

No matter how busy you are or how much work you have to do, make sure you take out some time in a day to have some meaningful conversation with your spouse. If you cannot think of anything to talk, get goofy or silly and share some hearty laughs with each other. It is very important to communicate with your spouse on a regular basis to keep the love flowing in the relationship.

6. No Blame Games

Even if you are mad because your spouse did something wrong, it is not recommended to start playing the blame game. Possibly your spouse may have had self-realisation that a mistake was committed and necessary measures may have been taken to make amends. However, even if there are no realisations, it is always better to put across a point subtly and politely rather than hitting the other person with all the blames.

7. Don’t Rely on Online Chatting

When you are away at work or away from home, chatting through a medium of online chatting is convenient to an extent, but it cannot substitute meaningful one-to-one conversations or phone conversations. Sometimes, online modes of communication can lead to misunderstandings and confusion and may strain happy relationships.

8. Don’t Be Defensive

If your partner needs to bring out some complaints or issues against you, listening to them intently without being defensive about it is important. It is equally hard for your partner to bring his or her own flaws in front of you. Make sure you listen and take effective measures to solve the issue rather than getting all defensive about the whole issue.

9. Be Tolerant

We all have different preferences, likes or dislikes, and the same goes for two people who are married to each other. You may like watching cricket, but your spouse loves tennis; be appreciative and tolerant of each other’s hobbies, choices and other such aspects instead of complaining about them. Because when you become receptive, your partner will too.

10. Express Positive Feelings

Most of us may talk about our worries, tensions, fears and other negative feelings more than we talk about positive feelings like love, compassion, humility etc. Make sure you include more positive talks, including complimenting each other, showing love and care and other such positive feelings.

FAQs

1. How can cultural differences impact communication in marriage?

Cultural differences can influence communication styles, expressions of emotions, and expectations within a marriage. Couples may need to navigate varying communication norms, beliefs, and values to ensure mutual understanding and respect. Embracing cultural diversity can enrich communication in marriage, but it requires openness, curiosity, and a willingness to learn from each other.

2. What role does technology play in marital communication?

Technology offers various communication tools for marriage, from texting and social media to video calls and shared calendars. While these tools can enhance connection and convenience, they can pose challenges, such as distraction, misinterpretation of messages, and decreased face-to-face interaction. Couples must establish boundaries and balance virtual and in-person communication to maintain intimacy and avoid misunderstandings.

3. How can couples revive communication in a stagnant marriage?

Couples can employ various strategies to reignite dialogue and connection in marriages where communication has become stagnant. This may include scheduling regular check-ins to discuss feelings and concerns, engaging in new activities to spark conversation, seeking counseling or therapy to improve communication skills, and prioritizing quality time for meaningful interactions. Rekindling communication requires effort and commitment from both partners to foster renewed intimacy and understanding.

This was all about marriage and communication. Communication in a marriage plays a much more vital role than we can fathom. It is important to open channels to have clear and meaningful communication with your spouse so that there is trust and understanding, which means a better relationship with your spouse.

Also Read:

Signs Of A Happy Marriage
Ways to Become Your Spouse’s Best Friend
What Are the Healthy Habits of Happy Couples?
Ways to Re-build Intimacy in Marriage with Your Spouse
Go Beyond Communication to Solve Marriage Problems