80 Funny Pirate Jokes for Kids

80 Funniest Pirate Jokes For Kids

Kids mainly enjoy two things, adventures and jokes. If you combine these interests, then you can pretty much make children laugh no matter where you are. Kids love adventures, and almost every kid watches adventure-style cartoons, such as Pirates. There is nothing more beautiful than making kids happy, so why not combine his/her interests while joking? Pirate jokes are so funny and interesting that they will make any kid roar in laughter. This wonderful collection of kids pirate jokes is sure to help you make them laugh hard. So, if your child is a little ill or feeling sad, you can crack these jokes in front of them, and they’ll be rolling with laughter.

Kid-Friendly Funny Pirate Jokes

Let’s take a look at some funny pirate jokes for kids.

kid dressed as a pirate

1. When is the best time for a pirate to buy a ship?

When it is on the sail!

2. What kind of ships do pirates find hard to maintain?


3. What did the ocean say to the captain of the pirate ship?

Nothing! The ocean just waved.

4. Which subjects does a pirate enjoy the most in school?

He enjoys ‘Aaaaaaarrrrrtt’.

5. Which costume does a pirate wear for Halloween?

He wears a Pumpkin Patch!

6. What are the only notes a pirate can sing in music class?

High C’s.

7. Which exercise do pirates love doing the most?

They love the plank!

8. Who was the most famous pirate octopus of the seas?

Captain Squid.

9. What has 12 legs, 12 arms, and 12 eyes?

A dozen pirates.

10. How does a pirate, who wears a patch, say “Yes” to the captain?

He says, “Eye Eye, captain”.

11. Which part of the deck stinks the most?

The poop deck.

12. What does one pirate say to his friend?

He says, “I sea you!”

13. What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?

“Aye matey years old!”.

14. What does Santa say while visiting pirates?

He says, “Row row row”.

15. Have you heard any funny pirate jokes?

Well, neither have ayyyyyeee.

16. Why do pirates never shower before they get on the plank?

Because they will just wash up on the shore later.

17. What is a pirate’s most favourite doll?


18. Which character from Star Wars do pirates love the most?

The Aaaaaarrrrgh- 2 D-2.

19. Why do pirates take a long time to learn the alphabet?

They take a long time because they always get stuck at “c”!

20. What do pirates say when his wooden leg freezes?

He says “Shiver me timbers!”.

kids playing dress up

21. Why do people find it very hard to call a pirate?

Because he always leaves his phone off the hook.

22. What was the name of the pirate’s girlfriend?


23. Which instrument do pirates love in music class?

The guitaaarrrrrrr.

24. Why did the pirate want to move to Russia?

To become a Czaaaarrrrrr.

25. Which two football teams were at the finals of the pirate Superbowl?

The Buccaneers and the Seahawks.

26. What is a pirate’s favourite colour?


27. What is a pirate’s hairstyle called?

A crew cut!

28. How do pirates dispose of their trash?

They throw it in the Gaaaaarrrrbage can.

29. Which is a pirate’s favourite type of fish?

The Swordfish!

30. How much do pirates charge for piercing an ear?

A buck-an-ear!

31. How much do treasures cost for a pirate?

An arm and a leg!

32. Why is it best to avoid taking a pea from a pirate?

He then becomes irate!

33. What game do parrots in pirate ships love playing the most?

Hide and speak!

34. Where do pirates go to get sketch pads and pencils?

The aaaaarrrrtt store!

35. What name do pirates give their spotted, pet dog?

They name his patches!

36. What shivers at the bottom of the seas?

A nervous wreck!

37. Why couldn’t the crew play cards when the captain came?

Because he was standing on the deck!

38. What happened when a pirate fell into the Red Sea?

The pirate got marooned!

39. Why did the pirate in prison dress up as a lawyer?

He wanted to pass the baarrrrrs.

40. Why did the pirate want to get to the other side of the road?

He wanted to go to the second-hand shop!

41. What’s a pirate’s favourite letter?

The letter RRRRRRR!

42. Where did Bluebeard the Pirate get his name?

One day, the sea the wind came and blew his beard right off!

43. What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?

A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

44. What has eight legs, eight arms, and eight eyes?

Eight pirates.

45. What do you call a pirate that likes to skip school?

Captain Hooky!

46. How do pirates prefer to communicate?

Aye to aye!

47. Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?

Right where ye left him.

48. How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheap?

He bought it on sail.

49. Why is pirating so addictive?

They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.

50. How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?

An arm and a leg.

51. How do you make a pirate furious?

Taking away the p.

52. What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?


53. What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?

A rookie.

54. What are the ten letters of the pirate alphabet?

I, I, R, and the seven C’s!

55. What is a pirate’s favourite body part?

The booty!

56. How do you save a dying pirate?


57. Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years at C.

58. Where do pirates buy their hooks?

The second-hand store.

59. What do you call a pirate with two legs and two eyes?

A newbie.

60. Where’s a pirate’s favourite breakfast joint?


61. Where do pirates park their ships?

In the harrrrrrbor.

62. Why did the pirate go on a vacation?

He needed a little arrr and arrr.

63. What did the pirate get when he hit the skeleton?

A skull and the CROSS bones.

64. What’s a pirate’s favourite country?


65. What did the pirate do the day before Halloween?

Mow his front yarrrrrd.

66. Which gym did the pirate visit?

The Gold’s Gym.

67. What is the worst thing about cleaning a pirate ship?

The barrrrrrnacles.

68. Which restaurant do pirates love the most?

The Harrrrrrd Rock Café.

69. Why do pirates give away eye patches on Halloween?

Because iPads arrrrr too expensive.

70. Why do pirates like killing zombies so much?

They are easy tarrrrrrgets.

71. How do you know if a doctor is dressed up as a pirate?

He says AED a lot!

72. What was the pirate’s favourite mode of land transportation?


73. Where do pirates keep their valuables?

In a jarrrr.

74. Why didn’t the pirate eat candy on Halloween?

He was on a low Carrrrrrb diet.

75. How do pirates make their money?

By hook or by crook.

76. What did the pirate’s parrot say when it fell in love with a duck?

Polly wants a ‘quacker.’

77. What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?

One has a rumbling tummy, and the other a tumbling rummy.

78. Why didn’t the pirate get hungry on the desert island?

Because of the sand-which is there.

79. What does a pirate eat for breakfast?

Captain Crunch

80. What did the pirate say during the winter storm?

Thar she snows.


1. What Are Pirate Jokes?

Pirate jokes revolve around pirates and their life. These jokes are hilarious and can make children laugh out loud.

2. Can Pirate Jokes for Kids Be Entertaining and Educational At the Same Time?

Pirate jokes sometimes include many nautical terms, grammatical pointers, facts, historical recollections of events or people, geographic references, and puzzles. These aspects make these jokes useful for teaching kids various necessary educational concepts and skills.

3. Are Pirate Jokes Age Appropriate, and How Can I Ensure It?

To make sure that the pirate jokes are age-appropriate for your child, you can preview the source of the jokes, the words used, the maturity level of the child to understand the joke, the tonality, and the meaning it exhibits.

These pirate jokes for children are sure to bring a lot of smiles and laughter to your children’s day, especially if you have a fun pirate-themed party!

Also Read:

Hilarious Christmas Jokes for Kids
Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Children
Funniest Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
Car Jokes and Puns for Children

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Ruchelle has a vast experience working with clients in hospitality, health and wellness, entertainment, real estate, and retail. She aims to utilise her learnings to deliver quality content which will in turn help drive sales and customer engagement.