Snowplow Parenting – Impact on Kids & How to Avoid It

All good parents would want to make sure that their children become successful, but at a certain level, their actions can harm the child’s life. Throughout the adolescent years, parents often maintain strict control over what their children do and how they live, believing it is for their benefit. This might continue even after the child has entered work or gone off to college, as over-engaged parents don’t back off easily even after the kid leaves the nest. This parenting style, known as snowplow parenting or bulldozer parenting, means the parent removes obstacles from their child’s path, preventing them from learning resilience and independence. While well-intentioned, such behaviour can hinder personal growth and create long-term dependency.

What Is Snowplow Parenting?

It is a type of parenting that involves removing problems and obstacles from the children’s path instead of teaching them how to do it themselves. This causes adult children to be irresponsible, making it difficult and hard for them to face the challenges of being an adult, like paying bills, finding and going to jobs, or dealing with a professional relationship.

A difference between snowplow parent and helicopter parent is that a helicopter parent may constantly watch the children do their homework and make sure it is done to perfection, while a snowplow parent will literally do the kids’ work for them.

Reasons Why Many Parents Snowplow

While driven by love and concern, snowplough parenting can prevent children from developing resilience and problem-solving skills. Below are the key reasons why many parents engage in this behaviour.

1. Fear of Failure (Their Own or Their Child’s)

Many snowplow parents are deeply afraid of seeing their child struggle or fail, often because they associate failure with personal inadequacy. They may also project their own past regrets onto their children, pushing them to avoid similar mistakes at all costs (1).

2. Competitive Pressure from Society

In today’s high-pressure academic and professional environments, parents feel compelled to give their children every possible advantage. The fear of their child falling behind peers drives them to eliminate any hurdles—whether in school, sports, or social life.

3. Overprotectiveness and Anxiety

Some parents struggle with excessive worry about their child’s safety, happiness, or future. This anxiety leads them to micromanage their child’s life, shielding them from any discomfort or challenge that could cause stress.

4. Guilt or Overcompensation

Busy work schedules, divorce, or past parenting regrets can make some parents overcompensate by being overly involved. They may try to “make up” for perceived shortcomings by smoothing their child’s path in ways that stifle independence.

5. Misguided Belief That Struggle Harms Rather Than Helps

Some parents mistakenly believe that struggle will damage their child’s self-esteem or happiness. They don’t realise that overcoming challenges is crucial for building confidence, resilience, and real-world problem-solving skills.

6. Social Media and Comparison Culture

Seeing curated images of “perfect” families and high-achieving children online fuels parental insecurity. To keep up, some parents intervene excessively in their child’s life—editing their work, confronting teachers over grades, or solving their social conflicts.

Signs That You Are a Snowplow Parent

Here are some common signs that show that you are a snowplow mom or dad:

1. Scheduling Their Medical Appointments

Making appointments for any medical reason can be tedious but every child has to master this skill. If your child has left the nest but still depends on you or your partner to make appointments for them then the child is a victim to this type of parenting.

2. Regularly Paying Their Expenses

Funding the children’s lifestyles automatically can keep them from getting a proper understanding of budgets, which will lead to bad management of personal finances. Though exceptions like injuries and illnesses are normal, parents should never directly fund every other thing in their kid’s life.

3. Writing the Child’s Job Materials

Completing job applications are never easy and while every parent would want their children to succeed, it is never good to take over the kid’s job and complete all their work for them.

4. Completing Their Paperwork

Paperwork is often frustrating and boring but if you are still doing this task for your adult child then they are missing a very important part of becoming an actual adult.

5. Doing Their Chores

It is not uncommon for children studying in colleges to drop off their laundry at home but if these happen even after they finish college, it is a problem. Though cleaning and running errands can be boring, it is a part of becoming an adult. When children do not learn to manage their time and clean up after themselves, they will always be dependent on their parents.

6. Giving Too Much Career Advice

One of the best examples of snowplow parenting involves them giving their children excessive career guidance. Deciding on a career option is an important part of becoming an adult but if parents do it for their children, kids will not become an adult.

Some Examples of Snowplow Parenting

Snowplow parenting, also called “lawnmower parenting,” involves removing obstacles from a child’s path to ensure smooth success—often at the cost of their independence. Here are some common examples:

• Writing essays, solving math problems, or even building science fair projects for them.
• Demanding a grade change, arguing with coaches about team selection, or requesting special treatment.
• Bringing forgotten items to school instead of letting the child face consequences.
• Choosing all extracurricular activities without the child’s input.
• Solving friendship problems instead of letting kids work it out themselves.
• Still doing basic chores for teens who should be capable.
• Deciding what clothes they should wear every day.

Effects of Snowplow Parenting Technique on Kids

Due to snowplow, children can have the following effects:

1. Poor Problem-Solving Skills

When life is a marathon, snowplow parenting is like being a sprinter. A snowplow parent may be successful at pushing their child to get into a competitive soccer team or take a lead part in a school play or may even help them get into a popular university. However, this might reduce their problem-solving skills and not allow them to follow their own interests.

2. Trouble Dealing With Frustration

Children who have snowplow parents are less comfortable in frustrating situations. Children who cannot handle frustration will always have trouble learning something new.

3. Increased Anxiety

When decisions based on anxiety are made by parents, they may act in ways that do not help the children manage frightening and challenging situations, increase resiliency, and develop coping skills (2).

4. Lack of Self-Efficacy

Children might feel a lack of self-efficacy when parents do not allow them to deal with the consequences of their actions. They will not realize that their actions might have a positive effect and are less likely to act.

Cons of Snowplow Parenting

1. Time-Consuming

Giving children every opportunity means investing a lot of time. Snowplow parents have very little time for themselves as their free time will be spent driving the kids to various appointments. Over-scheduled children will have over-scheduled parents and nobody in the family would have time to play.

2. Expensive

Raising a child can be expensive especially when you are a snowplow parent. A snowplow parent is always planning on giving children advantages by clearing paths, and this will mean that the parent will have to write checks and spend extra money for private instructors, coaches, or tutors.

3. Ineffective

Children never really learn about failure if the parents clear away all the obstacles. Though failure is an unpleasant way for people to learn, it is a very crucial part of life that helps people grow.

4. Racist

If parents are breaking, bending, or disregarding the rules, they are simply harming their children. It is also unfair to parents who play it straight. This is deeply felt during college admissions. The main problem is that a white kid who never earned a spot in college will never be questioned. Meanwhile, children of colour who deserve a place in the college by earning their spot are said to have been given an affirmative action handout, though they have worked very hard to get this far. These parents are more likely to take advantage of systemic racism to help their cause.

5. Selfish

Being a snowplow parent is never about love. The terrible truth about this type of parenting is that love is the cover for anxiety they feel, raising their children in a society that is highly competitive. The reasons for this include inequality in income, blocking paths to success for children whose parents go straight.

How Can You Avoid Being a Snowplow Parent

Here are a few tips on raising a self-sufficient kid:

1. Focus on Goals That are Long-Term

A great way to avoid being a snowplow parent is to concentrate on long-term goals and not short-term ones.

2. Control Your Anxiety

It is important for parents to manage their own anxiety. Parents are more likely to raise independent children when they allow their values to guide them.

3. Be a Parent With a “Big-Picture”

Kids must be prepared for adulthood by giving them an opportunity to solve problems and think independently. When a child comes to you with a problem, instead of solving it for them, ask them how they intend to solve the problem and what should they be doing differently the next time. Offer your own suggestions but always respect the kid’s solution.

4. Let Them Experience Natural Consequences

Allow children to face the results of their actions (e.g., forgetting homework or failing a test). This builds accountability and problem-solving skills.

5. Teach Problem-Solving, Not Dependency

When kids struggle, guide them through questions like “What options do you have?” instead of immediately fixing things for them.

6. Gradually Increase Responsibilities

Assign age-appropriate tasks (e.g., laundry, scheduling appointments) and resist the urge to take over—even if they do it imperfectly.

7. Encourage Risk-Taking Within Reason

Let kids try new activities or make choices (e.g., joining a club, picking electives) without micromanaging the outcome.

8. Step Back from Academic/Extracurricular Pressure

Avoid excessive involvement in schoolwork or sports. Let teachers coach and kids advocate for themselves when issues arise.

9. Reflect on Your Motivations

Ask yourself: “Am I doing this for my child’s growth, or to ease my own fears?” Pause before intervening unnecessarily.

Lessons to Learn From Snowplow Parents

Here’s what you should do if you want your kids to flourish (3):

1. Let the Kids Fail so That They Will Learn to Overcome

It is never easy for a parent to see their kids disappointed, sad, or hurt when a decision they made was not right but always remind them that consequences are gifts in disguise. If parents always clear all their obstacles, kids will never have an opportunity to learn from the mistakes they make.

2. Learn to Say “No” to Children and Let Them Feel Their Feelings

Parents never find it easy to tell a crying child “no” when they know that a “yes” will make them happy. But sometimes, parents should let children feel their emotions even though they feel uncomfortable. If that bubble wrap is never taken off, children will not be able to manage inconveniences of life.

3. Efforts Made by the Child Must be Praised as Much as the Result

Parents should teach children that trying is also important. When children do hard things, parents need to praise their efforts even though they did not succeed. This helps the child grow and realize that they can improve by working harder and practising. This will increase confidence levels and will help them get through tough times.

4. Don’t Stop Yourself from Giving Children Increasing Levels of Responsibility

When it comes to small household chores like loading the dishwasher or making the bed, parents might always feel like doing it themselves is more efficient than letting their children do, but parents will have to let them try. Little children are also capable of taking small responsibilities and it becomes easier for them when they are older.

5. Make the Kids Think Proactively

Parents should always train children to be thinking about what they need to do and not just tell them to do something. Instead of simply asking questions like “Is your bag packed?”, “did you take your lunch?” ask them “what is the next thing you should be doing to get ready for school?”. The goal is to help them focus on the list every morning until they internalise it and start managing it themselves.

FAQs

1. At what age does snowplow parenting become most harmful?

Snowplow parenting tends to cause the most damage during the teenage years (13-19), when children should be developing crucial problem-solving and independence skills before adulthood.

2. Are snowplow parents more likely to have been helicopter parents originally?

In many cases, yes – snowplow parenting often evolves from helicopter parenting as children grow older and face more complex obstacles that parents feel compelled to remove.

The world might seem tough for children these days, tempting you to try and make things easier for them. However, they should be given opportunities to overcome those problems themselves. A child should have a life of their own and when parents interfere, they are interfering with the child’s growth.

References/Resources:

1. National Library of Medicine – Environmental transmission of generalized anxiety disorder from parents to children: worries, experiential avoidance, and intolerance of uncertainty

2. National Library of Medicine – Child Anxiety Prevention Study: Impact on Functional Outcomes

3. National Library of Medicine – What attitude should parents have towards their children’s future flourishing?

Also Read:

Authoritative Parenting
Permissive Parenting
Uninvolved Parenting
Positive Parenting

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