Single Parenting: Tips for Raising Kids Alone

It takes a village to raise a child, so goes the common saying. But what about when you have just one individual to do the raising, never mind an entire village? The traditional family structure has undergone a tremendous change over the years, with single parents being just one face of the new normal. While death has always been a reason, the increase in the number of divorces has given birth to an entirely new parenting scenario. Single-parent families are increasingly becoming common and are no longer considered exceptions. Here are 12 tips for single parents who are raising a child all by themselves. These tips on how to be a successful single parent will help sail through parenting like a breeze and strengthen your bond with your children.

Useful Tips for Single Parents

Parenting a child isn’t an easy job at all, and when one has to do it single-handedly, it poses a fresh set of challenges. Yet, however difficult it may appear, it isn’t an impossible task, and several children of single parents turn out to be happy, healthy and successful individuals. All that is required is the right attitude, a good support system and lots of love. Below are some worthy tips for single parents that can help them with parenting their children on their own  (1).

1. Show Them Love

Losing a member of the family is a traumatic experience, whatever the circumstances may be. This is a time when everyone needs to feel loved. Shower lots of hugs and kisses on your kids – they will still feel the loss of the other parent, but they will also feel secure in the love of the current one.

2. Have a Routine

All experts suggest having routines for children in any case, and this becomes more important for a single parent. Apart from the fact that routines help in developing a feeling of security and familiarity in children, it is essential for the household to run smoothly. A time for every task and a place for everything – following this alone can cut down on huge amounts of stress and leave more time for fun.

3. Maintain Boundaries

While an extra dose of love is prescribed for a child with a single parent, don’t let it cloud your judgment when it comes to discipline. Maintain boundaries as you would normally do, and ensure consequences for overstepping them. Remember, you are a parent, and you make the final call.

4. Have a Support Group

Life can seem very lonely and depressing in the initial stages of your single parenthood, so have a support group for yourself and your child. The best one is your extended family – grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are perfect to offer support and help. Let your child interact and spend time with everyone – a great way is to celebrate festivals together.

5. Have Fun

Life with a single parent needn’t be all cloudy. Take out time every week to do something fun with your child, and take occasional holidays too. If you weren’t the ‘fun’ parent previously, you might have to put in some extra effort, but it’ll be worth it. Make sure you do it at your child’s pace, without making him feel forced.

6. Join Classes

Joining an extra-curricular class is a great way to make new friends and learn something new, both of which can keep a child’s mind productive, occupied and cheerful. The ideal option is a centre that offers classes for both moms and kids, so both of you can reap the benefits together.

7. Encourage Independence

Some single parents turn out to be extremely protective of their children, by which they end up being mollycoddled. Try to keep a balance between being there for them and doing everything for them. Making them do simple chores around the house is a great way to foster a sense of responsibility and independence. This also offers an extra pair of helping hands.

8. Budget Sensibly

You might be tempted to fill the gap in your child’s life with gifts, but those offer only temporary respite. Going from married to single is expensive, especially if you’ve not been the primary breadwinner so far. While you don’t have to scrimp on every penny, it helps to cut out all the unnecessary expenses and start saving for your child’s future. This will also be a wonderful life lesson for your child.

9. Keep Negativity Away

Being a single parent is bound to attract a lot of negativity from others. Try your best to keep your child away from such people and such scenarios. If they seem upset about something, talk to them in a very matter of fact way – kids are very good at understanding logic. Refrain from bad mouthing your ex, because he or she is your child’s parent too.

10. Forget Perfection

There might be immense pressure on single parents, especially single moms, to have everything perfect. They think that in order to prove themselves as good parents, they need to look good, have a beautiful and clean home, happy kids who top their exams, all with extra time to spare for social events. Do away with this image and focus only on your priorities – your child and yourself.

11. Tell Your Children About the Situation

Keep your children abreast of the changes in the family. Give them space and time to process the situation and deal with their feelings. Do not rush; be patient and understanding of their emotions.

12. Take Time for Yourself

In single parenting, the time spent caring for children doubles, which inadvertently takes your me time as well. However, it is essential to give yourself the space, time, and pampering. Find someone to take care of your kiddos while you enjoy some relaxing time alone with yourself or with your friends. Engage in activities you like and also prioritise your health by eating healthy and exercising regularly.

FAQs

1. What is single parenting?

Single parenting means raising a child or children without a partner, either by choice, separation, divorce, or due to the death of a partner (2).

2. Is single parenting difficult?

Single parenting can be challenging emotionally, financially, and physically. However, many single parents successfully raise emotionally and physically healthy children with the right support.

3. Why is being a strong single parent essential?

Being a strong single parent is essential as it creates a foundation of stability, affection, and a solid emotional base for children, which ensures healthy growth and favourable results. Resilient single parents are able to establish closer connections with their children, provide focused attention, and encourage their kids to cultivate independence and accountability. Additionally, a single parent’s strength and determination can be an influential example for kids, showcasing the value of perseverance and the importance of nurturing parenthood. In fact, most children raised by single parents become resilient at a very young age, develop a strong sense of community, and learn to balance their and others’ needs (3).

Always remember to put on your own oxygen mask first. If you’re in a bad space emotionally, it is certain to rub off on your child. Get professional help if necessary, and remember that there is no reason your child shouldn’t turn out to be a well-balanced and happy individual like everyone else.

References/Resources:

1. American Academy of Pediatrics – Single Parenting: Tips for When You’re Raising Kids on Your Own

2. BetterHealth Channel – Single parenting

3. Sage Journals – Single Parenting: Impact on Child’s Development

Also Read:

Tips to Make Solo Parenting Easier
Tips to Be a Nurturing Parent
Common Parenting Issues and Their Solutions
Parenting Hacks That Will Make Your Life Easier
Single Fathers vs Single Mothers – Challenges and Goals