I Can’t Believe I Said that to My Child!
All moms are multitasking & multidimensional, and while doing that many times you tend to say things that might hurt your little one. Every mother is guilty of saying a few things to her child, which she never intended to. It just comes out with sudden anger and you end up venting your anger on the innocent child.
From the day the child is born, he gets all your attention. It may get a little difficult if you are trying to get back on your job or even working from home. Trying to do a lot of things perfectly will surely raise your temper every now and then; take a deep breath and take things lightly.
Things You Should Not Say To Your Child
1. Wait until your father gets home
This will create a negative image in his mind about his father and also show you in poor light as a decision-maker. Do not delay your response to whatever has happened and bring matters to a closure soon without prolonging the agony for your child.
2. I will never forgive you
Words like these will have a lasting impact on the little one’s impressionable mind and will continue to haunt him for a long time.
3. I will do it
This will tell your toddler that you don’t have confidence in her to do things right; you don’t trust her. Instead team up with the child and say let’s do it together.
4. Don’t cry
Crying is a natural reaction. We all cry at some point or other. So asking your toddler to not cry is going to leave her baffled, as to what she is supposed to do when hurt or in pain. Instead, try to distract her with a toy or something that she likes.
5. Go away
Again, these simple words are potent enough to cause lasting damage in young minds. You are his world and if you would say things like this, it will definitely affect his development. He will not be able to handle such things.
What to Do
Sometimes, parents forget that they are putting a lot of pressure on their child’s mind to be perfect at all times. Remember, every parent feels annoyed at some point but you need to train yourself to deal with the situation. You surely love your child and want to parent him better. Here is what you can do when caught in the throes of anger –
1. Distract yourself
Take a time out. You have to distract yourself from the heat of the moment. You may choose to walk out of the room if the baby is safe and take your time to feel better. This will give an indication to your child that her behavior is unacceptable and mommy will not tolerate it. Take a deep breath and calm yourself down. You could talk to a friend or your mom to vent your feelings out, but avoid complaining about your child at that time, especially if she is around. This might help you to calm down but your child’s self esteem will suffer.
You may want him to obey you but the child throws a fit and doesn’t listen to you. It then becomes a power struggle. If you want your child to eat and he doesn’t, try to explain to him the consequences of not eating. Focus on what needs to be done and avoid arguing with him till the work is done. Do not go down to the maturity level of your toddler to fight with him.
Parents do not mean the hurtful things they say to their children but it is not you who gets to interpret it. Children may get psychologically affected by very loud sounds or beating. Make it a point to apologize every time you feel guilty. This will help you to inculcate good behavior in your child. Every child loves his parents a lot and if he remembers what you had said, he will also remember your apology.