Handling The Child’s Questions to LGBT parents

By Tian C - Updated: October 31, 2018

In this Article

Explaining Nuances about LGBT
Raising LGBT Household Kids in a Heterosexual Community

Sometimes people raised by LGBT(Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) parents feel that they need extra emotional support as they face social stressors that are unique. However, it is good to note that children with LGBT parents show no difference from those with heterosexual parents, both, emotionally or socially, when dealing with peers or with adults. But answering queries of growing children by LGBT parents needs patience and honesty.

In the present scenario, one can find many children with LGBT parents. Some children of LGBT parents were conceived in heterosexual marriages or relationships. There are also a number of LGBT parents who have children conceived and have been raised from birth as single parents or in committed relationships. These occur through adoption, surrogacy, foster parenting or through artificial insemination.

People need to understand that the relationship between a parent and a child is based on the quality of the relationship and doesn’t depend on the sexual orientation of the parent. However, there continue to exist questions that your child will have in mind that need answering in a patient and honest manner. Children from LGBT households need to know that they are loved – no matter what.

Explaining Nuances about LGBT

The first thing you need to let your child know is that being LGBT is perfectly okay. It is as okay as being left-handed, or being brown-eyed or light-skinned.
You can explain to them that people fall in love, some with people of the same sex and sometimes they don’t. Teaching them not to judge, is one of the biggest lessons parents can give their children. Some children might have questions about reproduction in same sex marriages or relationships. Talk to them about alternative reproduction methods in an age-appropriate manner. Answer them when they question you.
However, don’t take guesses about your child’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Explain to them that when the time comes they will know, and it doesn’t matter if their biological parent was LGBT. Tell your child that it could take a lifetime to know what they are and that there is no need to rush. Always keep telling them you love them, no matter what.

Raising LGBT Household Kids in a Heterosexual Community

Some challenges the children face are that, they could face discrimination in communities which are commonly heterosexual. Children might be teased and bullied by peers. Here are some ways LGBT parents can help them cope:

Equip them with answers about their background and family
Allow for open communication that is age and maturity appropriate
Practice appropriate responses to teasing and mean remarks
Use books, websites, movies to explain LGBT families
Meet other LGBT families and their children
Consider moving to a community where diversity is accepted

Most LGBT parents and their children have good and bad times, like all other families. If LGBT parents have additional concerns about raising their children they need to consult a qualified psychologist.

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