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You decide that you will not react angrily no matter how mad you get the next time your kids provoke you. But seriously, when you are really mad, can you even think straight let alone control your reaction?
You’ve just put away all that clay dough for the third time and you tell your child no more dough before bedtime. A little later, you find she’s taken out all the stuff again and is happily molding a bug! It’s natural for your blood to boil.
But before raising your voice remember that all that yelling and screaming doesn’t curb frustrating behavior in your child. On the flip side it’ll only make everybody including you upset and guilty. Here’s a list of 12 ways you can rely upon for getting your kids to listen without yelling.
How To Stop Yelling At Your Kids
1. Baby Proofing
Ensure basic baby proofing the house. Keep child inappropriate things out of reach of the little ones. This is especially beneficial when your child reaches out, gets that box of cereals and dumps the entire content on the floor! It’s best to keep such things out of reach.
2. Get Out of the Situation
If your spouse is around, take his help to deal with your unruly child. Chances are he won’t yell (as he is not yet as mad as you are!) and even your child might mellow down with the change in parent.
3. Realistic Expectations
If you find yourself constantly yelling at your children, chances are your expectation levels from them are too high. You shouldn’t forget that you are dealing with a child who’s physically and mentally not as developed as you. Hence it might be difficult for him to spend hours doing what you enjoy or in turn enjoy doing something for hours which you disapprove of.
4. Be Assertive- Not Mean
Be calm and address your child firmly. A soft yet firm tone will make your child strain and actually listen to you.
Try to time out your stressful activities without your children tagging after you. If you lose it regularly at the grocery store then you can either shop online after your kids’ sleep time, or visit your favourite store at night or weekdays to avoid crowds and get your shopping and billing done fast.
6. Cook Up a Fictional Story
This is an effective way on how to discipline your child without yelling. Try stories like this: what happened to the little girl when she did (or didn’t) listen to her mother? The result can be glorious or bad depending upon the imaginary child’s actions. This is a win-win situation for both mother and child when the former is busy telling the story and the little one is imagining.
7. Let her Know You Are Angry
Instead of just snapping let her know that you are getting mad. If she doesn’t care, give her a time limit and a harmless threat. For instance, her toys might go to the trash can if she doesn’t pick them up once you finish counting 10. This works very well for small children and helps your kids to listen without yelling.
8. Keep Squeezy Toys Handy
Squeezable stress toys such as smiley balls and dolls can work wonders in squeezing the stress out of you. So keep them handy and squeeze that ball whenever you have the urge to blow your top.
9. On the Spot Physical Exercise
Release all that stress by jogging in one place or doing some deep breathing exercise. You’ll feel relaxed. Also, if your kid is watching you she might get surprised and distracted by her mother’s behaviour and calm down.
10. Take a Break
Being a mother isn’t cakewalk and if you find yourself losing your cool often on your children, then it can be sign of stress and fatigue. Rejuvenate yourself by taking a break and asking your husband, close family or friends to take care of your baby for a while.
11. Putting Things in Perspective
Try putting yourself in the shoes of your little one. A child is a child who will obviously opt for playing than getting ready for school. So curb your urge to scream and think of some alternative plan. Sometimes a change in perspective helps diffuse situations.
12. Visualize the Aftermath
What does yelling do to a child? All that screaming and those melancholy, tearful eyes of your darling make you feel guilty and your child upset! Just visualizing these not so proud mom moments can help you hold your tongue, prevent shouting at children, and let you handle the situation in gentler ways.
Is yelling abuse? Definitely so if it becomes chronic! The next time your child tries to try your nerves just tune on to these tips of parenting without screaming.