My son is 3 years ans 4 months old. His speech is only 50% clear and doesn't initiate conversation. He is able to follow 1 step instruction, however, it's difficult for him to follow 2 steps instructions. Sometimes he behaves like defiance and ignores us. Is everything normal?

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Accepted Answer

First of all, The way you perceive your child will always dictate the way you respond to him.

A four-year-old needs help with chores. Standing 5 feet away and repeating yourself will NOT help. A child this age needs to be MOVED through his tasks. Kids are meant to play, explore and live every moment. It's hence normal for your kiddo to not only resist chores, but also get distracted while doing them. It's hence on you to help him stay on track.

Have a consistent routine so he knows what to expect when. Prepare him say 15 min in advance of brushing time or bedtime, set a timer and give him atleast a couple of reminders before the timer goes off. When it's time, hold his hand, lead him to the bathroom and hand him his toothbrush. If he resists, be playful. Tell him if he doesn't come on his own, you'd have to send a hug-and-kiss monster to pick him up. Then, come back as that monster, scoop him in a hug and carry him to the bathroom. Or pretend to roll a red carpet, bow and welcome him to the bathroom. Kids have very little control over their lives. So, fill his POWER bucket by offering him choices: "Do you want the red toothpaste or the green?", "Do you want the brush-your-teeth song or a story?" Use this time as an opportunity to connect with him rather than going about the routine mechanically, so he resists it less: make up a silly song and sing it through his chores, share stories, listen actively to his day, etc. You may say you don't have that kind of time, but you'd be spending MUCH less time and energy this way than you would if you nag and push him. You would also not be straining your relationship. The better your connection, the more cooperative your child would be.

If your child is crying all the time, then it means that he has a full "emotional backpack" (plenty of stored-up upsets). The only way he can release those feelings is by crying in your warm presence. If you have the time, sit with him, acknowledge your child's feelings and offer comfort. Or go about your work but stay close, compassionate and approachable.