#asktheexpert Hi, My son becomes cranky when he is not given toys and makes his hands stiff and keeps his faces angrily

Question

Accepted Answer

It sounds like your son is expressing frustration or anger when he doesn't get his toys. This behavior is common in young children as they are still learning how to manage their emotions and communicate their needs. Here are some strategies to help manage and address this behavior:

### **1. **Stay Calm:**
   - **Model Calmness:** Maintain a calm demeanor when he becomes cranky. Your calmness can help de-escalate the situation and model how to handle frustration.

### **2. **Set Clear Boundaries:**
   - **Consistent Rules:** Establish and consistently enforce clear rules about toy use and sharing. Consistency helps children understand expectations.

### **3. **Offer Alternatives:**
   - **Distraction:** Provide alternative activities or toys to divert his attention from the one he can’t have. This can help reduce frustration.

### **4. **Teach Emotional Expression:**
   - **Language Skills:** Encourage him to use words to express his feelings instead of acting out. Teach simple phrases like "I’m upset" or "I want that."

### **5. **Positive Reinforcement:**
   - **Praise Good Behavior:** Reward and praise him when he handles disappointment well or follows rules. Positive reinforcement encourages desirable behavior.

### **6. **Establish Routines:**
   - **Routine Structure:** Having a structured routine can provide a sense of security and reduce instances of crankiness, as children often thrive on predictability.

### **7. **Ensure Basic Needs:**
   - **Check Needs:** Ensure he’s not cranky due to hunger, tiredness, or discomfort. Addressing basic needs can sometimes alleviate moodiness.

### **8. **Provide Attention:**
   - **Quality Time:** Spend quality time engaging in activities he enjoys. This can reduce feelings of frustration and help him feel valued and understood.

### **9. **Teach Problem-Solving Skills:**
   - **Problem-Solving:** Help him learn to solve problems and make choices. For example, if he’s upset about not having a toy, guide him to choose another activity.

### **10. **Seek Professional Advice:**
   - **Consult a Pediatrician:** If his behavior persists or if you have concerns about his emotional development, consider consulting a pediatrician or child psychologist for additional strategies and support.

These strategies can help manage frustration and teach your child healthier ways to express his emotions.