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Raising kids is one of the most challenging tasks. You want to give the best of the best to your child and shower him with love, but at times, your unconditional love of parents can spoil your child. If you’ve a child who tends to throw tantrums for small things or when his demands aren’t met, chances are you have got a spoiled child. A child whose attitude and behaviour is difficult, then it can’t be changed overnight. If your child is spoiled, then you need to first figure out what the signs are, and which approach works best while dealing with the kid.
Who is a Spoiled Child?
Has your child been throwing too many tantrums of late? Maybe he or she has been whining way too much, and if you don’t adhere to the child’s demands, hell breaks loose. Naughty children are fun and cute, but there’s only so much a parent or any adult can put up with.
A child is not born spoiled, but if his demands are always met and he has never heard ‘no’ for things, he may become spoiled. A spoiled child is a term used to define children who exhibit behavioural issues, which arise because they are overindulged by their parents and caregivers.
Reasons Why Children May Become Spoiled
Your child will become the way you raise him to be. So if your child has turned into a spoiled brat, there could be various reasons for the same. As parents and caregivers, your upbringing will play a big role in the behaviour of a child. Here are a few reasons that could be the causal factors of your child being spoiled
“I WANT IT, AND I WANT IT NOW!!’ – If your child says this often and you give in to their demands easily, then your child may become spoiled without you even realising it. Giving your child everything he asks for, and immediately, gives the child an impression that you are entitled to fulfil your child’s demands all the time. If this habit continues, the child becomes spoiled and does not express gratitude for the things that you do for them. Unearned gifts can also have negative effects on the child’s attitude and behaviour.
2. Compensating Parents
Children are materialistic, but if your child’s entire world revolves around ‘materialistic things’, then something doesn’t really add up. Most parents today are usually caught up with work, so they may make up for lost quality time with their kids by giving them materialistic goodies, which often makes children materialistic. A lot of parents give their kids money without even teaching them how to save, and this can work against the parents when the kids demand more money and start thinking they should get whatever, whenever and however. Giving your child financial liberty is one of the first and biggest reasons why a child may become spoiled.
3. Friend Circle
The kind of friends your child hangs out with can be one of the reasons for him to get spoiled. Children are highly impressionable, and if your child’s friends are spoiled too, there are chances that your child will watch and learn from them. Sometimes, kids may behave like their friends, to fit in, and at other times, they may do so, thinking if their friends can get what they want, why not them. Peer influence can be either good or bad. In case a child is influenced by kids his age who happen to be spoiled and believe in showing off new things they have received, it may influence the child and he may demand the same.
4. Overprotective Parents
Overprotective parents tend to spoil their children. If you’ve been throwing too many restrictions on your child, chances are that he will rebel and turn out to be a spoiled brat. Kids who are controlled and restricted too much will develop an unhealthy attitude owing to all that pent up frustration and anger.
5. Using Physical Violence
Physical violence is a strict no when dealing with kids, and this is something that you should remember at all times, especially on those days where your little one is troubling you. Hurting a child physically will give your child the idea that they can hit others and it’s okay to do so. It will also result in your child harbouring a lot of negativity and frustration. If you tend to use physical punishment often, your child may become rebellious and stop coming to you in case he does something wrong or if he needs your help with something.
6. Pliable Parents
Saying ‘yes’ to your child for everything they ask for is a strict no. A lot of parents give in to their child’s demands because who would want to deal with the tantrums of their child. But if you keep doing this, your child will become a spoiled brat.
7. Poor Manners
Not inculcating good manners and basic courtesy is another reason why a child may become spoiled.
Signs You’re Raising a Spoiled Brat
The signs mentioned below will help you understand if you’re raising a spoiled child. But remember, it’s never too late. You could always try and inculcate good manners in your child.
- Your child is disrespectful.
When your child does not show any respect to you or other adults in your family, chances are that he is spoiled.
- Your child does not help others.
If your child refuses to help you, even if you ask for a hand, it could be a sign that they are turning into a spoiled brat.
- Your child is always unsatisfied.
No matter what you give to your child, if it is never enough for him, then he could be spoiled.
- Your child is possessive about the things he owns.
If your child doesn’t believe in sharing his things with others, then you should know that your child may be a spoiled brat. It’s okay for kids to get possessive about their toys or food once in a while, but if the child does this every time, then the child really needs some lessons on kindness and sharing.
- Your child is rude to others.
When your child blatantly ignores you when you’re talking or when others are asking him to do something, it could be a sign of rudeness. Rude behaviour is another characteristic of a spoiled brat.
- Your child is ungrateful.
If your child shows no gratitude or appreciation, it could be because he is spoiled.
- Your child is manipulative.
If your child makes up elaborate lies to gain something without putting the requisite effort, he could be spoiled. For example, saying he finished his homework just so that he can go out and play.
Effects of Spoiling a Child
It is completely understandable that as a parent, you want to give your child the world. But you need to know that sometimes, this can work against you, as well as, your child. If you’re spoiling your child, you need to stop, because if you don’t, here’s what may happen:
- The child will turn out to be disrespectful to everyone around him.
- He may find it hard to deal with relationships.
- He may become lazy.
- Your child may become materialistic.
- He may find it hard to work in a group.
Nobody likes spoiled kids, and when these kids turn out to be spoiled adults, it’s a different thing altogether.
How Can You Deal With Spoiled Children?
If your child is spoiled, you need to deal with your child with an approach that is helpful. Here’s how not to spoil a child:
- Make sure, your child understands that no one likes a spoiled child. That’s the first thing you can do.
- Try positive reinforcements instead of negatives. Be kind and gentle, and your child will learn from you.
- Set down house rules, and make sure your child follows them. If the child doesn’t, make sure there are consequences that will have to be faced.
- Make sure your emotions are not all over the place. Put up a calm front when dealing with your child.
- Make sure you acknowledge any good behaviour too. If bad behaviour needs punishment, then good behaviour needs rewards too. This will encourage your child to be a better person.
- Learn to say ‘no’ when you absolutely must.
- Stop giving your child materialistic goods in place of quality time and love.
- Don’t be overly restrictive and overprotective with your child.
- Teach your child self-regulation.
You may not find it easy to mend your child’s behaviour, but you should try before it gets too late. Children are not easy to handle, especially if they are spoiled, but with a lot of patience and understanding, you can handle your child, and in fact, teach him to behave nicely.