What It Really Takes to Bring Up a Confident and Happy Child!

Even before a mother conceives, the family starts dreaming about the child she will give birth to. You start building up various imaginations. Finally, going through the roller coaster journey of nine months of pregnancy and excitement to become a mum, you are blessed with a new life; a baby to hold and love to the most.
Does the journey end here? No, it doesn’t. Here comes the challenge of winning the race of best parenting. Every parent wants to give their best shot. They start giving healthy meals to their children, start arranging for everything that is required for their kids to grow happily or start finding the best playschool or formal school in the town. Most of the parents follow the same track as many others.
Do you know what really matters? Before a child steps out to a school, parents become his/her first teacher. They will follow the way you talk, you eat, you walk, and everything you practice from morning until evening in your daily life. Children are very fast learners and will pick all these very soon. So, first and the foremost secret is to mark your own actions!
Next come the manners, culture and behaviour you teach your child. It is truly said that the culture comes from family! Respecting elders at home or behaving well with family members is just not sufficient. It is important to behave well with everyone and anyone you come across because your child learns the same. The aura of your big chair in your profession or your grandeur lifestyle should not impact your child at all. Explain to them at times what efforts it takes to get all this. Encourage your child to not differentiate people based on their professions in the community. You are supposed to behave well whether its a maid, a helper, a cleaner, a guard, a sabjiwala bhaiya or anyone outside the family because respect is important for everyone even if they don’t demand.
Routine is the key to success. Once your child is accustomed to a daily routine, it will solve most of your problems. Plan the day for them and create a time-table with a balance! “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”. Also, it’s important to define the tolerance level for any deviation in the time table. Sometimes, punishment to cut down some of the favourite parts of the routine will help your child learn the importance of time!
Boost the confidence of your child. They say love your child the way he or she is. It is, of course, the best idea. Never force your child to do the activities he/she is not interested in, and if at all, it is important, you can set the right motivation by counselling and giving examples but no comparisons. Give them the free space to try everything, and it will automatically come out where their heart lies. Praise them for things they are good at. If not doing well in studies, be calm, explain the reasons logically, and tell them to practice more to do better next time. Believe in your children, and they will grow with confidence!
Reward your child but its also important to say “No” at times. Never bribe your child or fix deals in advance to do homework or any work given. Do not fulfil each and every demand and learn to say “No” if it’s not important. If you reward them unexpectedly on their achievements or good work, it will surely boost their desire to do more to achieve the next level. This will stop kids from being demanding and will also help them realise that they are recognised for their good efforts. We all love to be recognised and do the best for it!
It is also very important to deal with the resistance of your child to accept everything you ask them. Giving your time may help! You may now think that asking so much from them is not easy. They will react and may not follow. But there are ways to deal with this resistance. Start spending ‘only you and me’ time with them by giving them complete attention, keeping your mobiles, TV remotes, newspapers, or anything favourite far away. Talk to them about what they like and where they are facing problems. Be more of a friend than a parent. Kids need you around, no matter what they do. Play, laugh, crack jokes and let them know about some of your failures, too, and that everyone is not perfect. Praise them and fill their minds with good thoughts and memories before they go to bed. Ask them about their favourite part of the day. Let them express. Tell them that they are the best ever gift God has given you in your lifetime. They will start feeling ten feet tall, and you will definitely see a happy and confident child growing in your arms! Your part is done and rest lies with them.
Happy Parenting!
Shalini Singh

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