My Fearful Journey and the Thought of Losing My Child Made Me Do Everything to Feed Her

My Fearful Journey and the Thought of Losing My Child Made Me Do Everything to Feed Her

As it was my first child, I had no idea and no one to guide me about breastfeeding, when to feed, how often to feed, because my baby was very calm. She did not cry, not even when she was hungry. When she was born, she was kept in the NICU for apnea. She didn’t cry, and her heart stopped for 30 seconds. Once she was fine and ready with proper oxygen, I was allowed to feed my baby.

She only fed for 5 minutes, but those 5 minutes were too much painful, as my nipple started bleeding. After that, my baby slept peacefully with me. But, later at night, I was asked by the nurse if my baby took milk, I said no. She lost her peace on me, saying you’ll lose your baby, the glucose level will reduce, etc. I was totally panicked, and I forced myself to feed the baby, though my nipple was injured. It started bleeding. I saw the blood in my baby’s mouth, and was totally panicked.

I bought nipple shields, a breast pump, etc. just to keep my baby safe. However, after desperately trying, I got my baby latched. With so much pain, I fed her. The same day, I met my gynaecologist for my bruised nipple, so that my baby does not get any infection. I
also consulted a paediatrician to check if my baby was fine, because the less amount of feeding had made my baby lose a bit of weight within 2 days. This made me more panicked towards my baby, as I had already lost one child (I had conceived twins).

I started applying ointment on one nipple, and let the baby have milk from other the breast. Every two hours, I used to switch the breast for feeding and applying ointment. This idea worked after a week. I stopped as I learned the proper latching techniques on the FirstCry Parenting app. This helped me be a happy mom and keep my baby healthy.

Even though my feeding journey was full of fear for me, it also bonded me with my daughter. I am blessed to feed her.

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