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It has been two months since I welcomed my baby into this world and these months have been a roller coaster ride. Having a baby is overwhelming, a baby boy, even more, because whenever he pees, it goes everywhere. Excuse me, for my lame sense of humour, but this is just a sleep-deprived mother trying to be funny…trying to find humour in the daily struggles of life. Suddenly, life is all about soiled diapers and feeds. Frankly, nobody prepared me for this. Post-delivery, a woman is physically exhausted. There are stitches, pain, and bleeding, and then there is a tiny human being to look after. He has only you and he needs only you.
I never thought of myself as a person who was fond of kids. I never coochie-cooed them. But here I am with a tiny little human being, the one I made. During delivery, I told my husband that I was a cool girl once and look, what I have become. And he said, “You are still a cool girl and you are doing the coolest job that not everyone can do.” And that changed my perspective about things and life. I think it’s okay to not immediately fall in love with your baby, i.e., at the moment you see him. I know it is not a popular opinion and I might receive judgemental glares from some for such an un-motherly statement, but I guess it takes time to feel love for someone. When you are exhausted, it takes time for affection to come. At least, it did in my case. But with each passing day, my baby and I are growing, and we are learning to live with each other and teaching each other new things.
The first time I told my baby, ”I love you” was when he was just three weeks old. I said it because it was honest and I felt it. Hence, I wanted to say it. I kissed him and he smiled, then he peed on me. Life is going to be different now. Every single day there will be a new story. We will make memories. I will cuddle him and kiss him. I will have sleepless nights. He will pee and poop, but that’s okay. I guess I have found a new friend…a friend for life maybe.
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