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What changes after a baby comes into your lives, you may ask – well, everything! It’s a newfound responsibility, a new world altogether. And just like many other new parents, you must have heard several things about how your marriage is going to take a whole new turn and how things will be different between you and your partner now on. How much of it is true and how much isn’t – it’s time to debunk some myths!
Ever heard of the term ‘baby quake’? It’s a common word used to describe how the arrival of a baby shakes things up in a marriage. But again, if you put your trust in relationship myths, you are definitely headed for some wrestling matches with your thoughts! It’s wise to stay grounded and be realistic to enjoy everything marriage has to offer. The arrival of a new member will only add to the happiness and not alter it. Just like life has its ups and downs, relationships have theirs too.
Here are some common myths that we are busting for you to enjoy your marital life post baby, to the fullest!
1. Myth: You’ll Love Your Baby More Than Your Partner
‘Your baby is now your world’, ‘your baby will take all your attention’, ‘your baby should be your first priority’ – all these statements will soon start seeming familiar because people around you will reiterate them time and again.
Truth: There is no doubt that the baby deserves a ton of attention and affection, but it certainly doesn’t mean that the love for your partner will decrease! Yes, sometimes husbands tend to feel neglected because of all that attention the little one gets; however, they are crazy about the baby too. With a little communication, things can be smooth sailing. Always remember, communication is the key!
2. Myth: There is No Such Thing as ‘Romance’
As soon as you put the baby to sleep and step into your room to be with your partner, you suddenly remember you need to sanitize your baby’s feeding kit! There is practically no ‘us’ time left anymore!
Truth: Yes, schedules do become tight and you are always running out of time. Therefore, it is always important to not set very high expectations in terms of romance. Having said that, it certainly doesn’t indicate your love life has come to a dead end! A simple late night coffee break or watching TV together can help keep that spark and magic alive.
3. Myth: Sex is Always Going to Hurt
The pain of childbirth will never let you enjoy sex. The act of love making is going to hurt for a while post delivery and you will be really stretched.
Truth: The first time after childbirth is surely different and painful, but that doesn’t mean that it’s permanent. Women tend to experience tenderness in the vaginal area after delivery and thus it is always advisable to take it slow. Also, the truth is that every woman is different and the time they take to get the sex drive back also differs. Some feel ready post week 4 and some may take 6 or more. But the important thing is that sex will definitely be enjoyable again, very soon. ||
4. Myth: Men are Bad at Baby Chores
Tell them to change the diapers and they will create a mess. Tell them to warm the milk, and it surely won’t turn out lukewarm. Basically, they can only be trusted with spoiling the babies silly, but not so much with their chores. Therefore, it is best to just do them by yourself.
Truth: Men mostly spend their times outside the house and therefore feel guilty when they cannot contribute with their little one’s day to day activities. This is one reason why they always want to contribute in any way they can with baby chores. They may be inexperienced and might not match up to your daily level of pro-ness! However, a little encouragement, guidance and practice can do wonders. Some men are wonderful and patient with baby chores, even more than you!
5. Myth: Your Marriage will Definitely be Tested
There will be arguments, there will be miscommunications and there will be misunderstandings. You will never have time for each other and romance is going to take a backseat. Constant bickering will test your marriage constantly and it may reach its breaking point.
Truth: There is just one truth that every married couple must believe in – love conquers all! Having a baby certainly changes things but a little communication and understanding can keep things going great. You have created a life together and taking care of that life will also require team effort. Both of you will be exhausted and tired and sometimes irritable, but remember who you are doing this for and things won’t be so difficult anymore!