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Psst, let’s tell you a secret – all moms lie to their children. What? Well, yes, strange as it seems, some little white lies are a part and parcel of parenting. So, which are the most common lies told to children?
Whether it is to tame an unceasing toddler tantrum, or tuck your naughty preschooler in bed, all moms need to resort to stories at some point. While some of these stories are real, some could also be make-believe (read: lies!). But they are essential parts of parenting and often the most potent weapons to protect our mental sanity!
Check out these funny lies parents tell their kids, and the next time you’re in a soup, feel free to try them out! They are harmless, innocent, and when your child is older, quite fun to have a shared laugh over.
1. Don’t lie to me. I always know when you’re lying.
2. This injection won’t hurt. I promise!
3. If you make ugly faces, that’s how your face will freeze forever.
Doesn’t the rule apply to you, Mamma? We are talking about that time when you scream “who messed the floor again?” with a rolling pin in your hand!
4. I think the cat stole the rest of your chocolates and cookies.
…and left the tempting fish intact. Last time we checked, cats weren’t particularly fond of chocolates but you never know, tastes change.
5. Santa won’t give you an Xmas present if you’re naughty.
Um, it’s more likely that Santa will be tucked near the fireplace in his North Pole house, oblivious to who is being a good boy or girl.
6. The shop doesn’t keep batteries for that toy anymore.
You mean that particularly irritating toy with the never-ending, blood curdling noise? Yep, they don’t keep batteries anymore for that one.
7. I can’t figure out how to switch on the TV. The remote is lost.
Isn’t this one a particularly funny lie to tell kids? Mom is really scatter-brained at times. Perfectly understandable. Even more so after the TV has aired screeching cartoons for two hours non-stop.
8. That isn’t a vegetable. It’s just chicken. Or paneer.
Of course… It’s a kind of chicken that’s stuffed with appetising vegetables like radish, spinach and broccoli.
9. We are leaving you alone if you don’t get ready now.
Haha! Like you ever would! You can try this one safely only for a very limited time after which kids rise to the occasion. But you know when you’re planning a dinner date with hubby and actually will leave them alone with a caregiver? That’s when all hell breaks loose.
10. That isn’t Coke. It’s just black water – totally tasteless.
11. The Tooth Fairy will give you a big prize for not crying about your bad tooth.
Toothaches are terrible. But all is forgiven when the Tooth Fairy leaves a prize outside the door.
12. If you don’t finish your veggies, you will never be even half as tall as Daddy.
Well, at least this one isn’t completely a lie. Moms report that growing taller is huge motivation for kids!
13. I never did anything wrong when I was your age.
Yes, we parents were all angels who never bugged their parents. Our parents, of course, may have an alternate opinion on this.
14. I don’t know.
Finally, after hours of answering your child’s questions, you resort to the comfort of this beautiful lie. Of course you know. But you’re too tired to answer.
Are you guilty of any of the above lies parents tell their children? How about more than just one? Some of these are age old; while you may have used them yourself, you might have also thought to yourself while reading them – ‘These are also lies my parents told me!’ Well, trust us when we say these lies are the lifeline for many parents around the world! These lies and more like them help keep you sane when your child is doing everything he can to drive you crazy. A sane parent, after all, is a good parent, right?