#asktheexpert Sur, I have twin baby boys. now they are 20 months old. but the thing that always disturbs me is that they both bites each other and as well as bites others also. how can I make get them rid of such habits?

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Accepted Answer

It can be stressful when toddlers start biting, especially when it happens frequently with siblings. Biting is common in toddlers, especially when they cannot express their feelings properly, but it's something that can be managed over time with patience and consistency. Here are some strategies to help reduce and eventually stop the biting behavior in your twin boys:

### 1. **Understand Why They Bite**:
   Toddlers bite for various reasons, such as:
   - **Frustration or anger**: When they can’t express their feelings.
   - **Seeking attention**: They notice that biting gets a big reaction.
   - **Teething discomfort**: At 20 months, they might still be teething, and biting could be a way to relieve discomfort.
   - **Exploration**: Biting can sometimes be part of exploring their environment.

### 2. **Respond Calmly but Firmly**:
   - **Stay calm**: If one of your twins bites, resist the urge to shout or get visibly angry. Respond in a **calm but firm** voice to show that biting is not acceptable.
   - **Immediate consequence**: Tell them firmly, “Biting hurts. We don’t bite others.” Then, redirect them to a different activity. This helps them understand that biting will not get them what they want.

### 3. **Offer Alternatives**:
   - **Teething toys**: If they are biting due to teething, give them appropriate teething toys or something safe to bite.
   - **Words for emotions**: Teach them simple words to express frustration, anger, or the desire to get attention. For example, “I’m mad,” “I want that,” or “Help me.”

### 4. **Positive Reinforcement**:
   - Praise your boys when they interact with each other gently or share toys without biting. Positive reinforcement helps them understand which behaviors are appropriate.
   - Celebrate their good behavior with hugs, claps, or a favorite activity.

### 5. **Distraction and Redirection**:
   - When you see the situation escalating and a bite might happen, try to distract them with a new toy or game. Redirection can be a powerful tool for toddlers.

### 6. **Create Boundaries and Routines**:
   - Toddlers thrive on routine. Establish clear rules about biting and be consistent in enforcing them.
   - Use simple phrases like, "Teeth are for eating, not biting," and repeat them often.

### 7. **Model Good Behavior**:
   - Show your twins how to touch gently by modeling gentle behavior and encouraging them to do the same with you, each other, and others.

### 8. **Avoid Biting Back**:
   - Never bite your child back to "teach them a lesson." This can confuse them and might make them think that biting is acceptable.

### 9. **Limit Aggressive Games**:
   - Reduce any games or activities that might encourage rough behavior. Instead, focus on activities that encourage cooperation and sharing.

### 10. **Give Them Attention**:
   - Sometimes toddlers bite when they feel ignored or frustrated. Make sure they are getting enough positive attention, so they don’t seek it through negative behaviors like biting.

### 11. **Be Consistent**:
   - Consistency is key. Make sure all caregivers (parents, relatives, babysitters) respond in the same way to biting incidents.

If the biting continues despite your efforts or if it becomes more frequent or aggressive, consider speaking to your pediatrician or a child behavior specialist for additional guidance. Biting is usually a phase that, with proper intervention, will pass as they grow and develop better communication skills.