#asktheexpert my daughter is 2 years and 2 month old now, but her behaviour is quite ignorant like she can tell us what she want,but not getting our things,what should I do

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Accepted Answer

At 2 years and 2 months, your daughter's behavior is likely a normal part of her development as she learns to assert her independence and explore her boundaries. Toddlers at this stage are becoming more aware of their desires and may express frustration if they don't get what they want. Here are some strategies to help manage her behavior:

1. Set Clear Boundaries:

Be Consistent: Set clear, simple rules and enforce them consistently. If she knows that certain behaviors (like demanding things or being rude) won't be tolerated, she'll gradually learn what’s acceptable.

Use Positive Reinforcement: Reward her with praise or small rewards when she behaves well, follows instructions, or shares. Positive reinforcement encourages good behavior.

2. Offer Choices:

Toddlers love feeling in control. Offering her small choices can help her feel empowered without giving her too much control. For example, instead of asking "What do you want to eat?" offer a choice: "Do you want apple slices or banana?" This gives her some autonomy while guiding her choices.

3. Redirect Attention:

If she is getting upset or demanding things, gently redirect her focus to something else. Toddlers often act out when they feel frustrated or bored, so providing a distraction like a toy, a game, or a favorite activity can help calm the situation.

4. Stay Calm and Patient:

When she’s behaving in a way you find frustrating, try to stay calm. Toddlers often mimic their parents’ reactions, so staying composed helps her model calm behavior. If you react strongly to her defiance, she may become more upset or try to test limits even more.

5. Validate Her Feelings:

Acknowledge her emotions and validate her feelings. If she’s upset, instead of dismissing her, say something like, “I know you really want that toy, but we need to share.” This shows empathy while still setting a limit.

6. Use Timeouts or Breaks:

For behavior like tantrums or defiance, it might be helpful to give her a short "time-out" or quiet break. This isn’t meant to punish her but to give her time to calm down and reflect. Keep the time-out brief (1-2 minutes) and follow it up with a positive interaction.

7. Model Good Behavior:

Show her how to ask politely for things, share, or wait her turn. Children at this age are learning from everything around them, so it’s important to model the behaviors you want to see in her.

8. Avoid Giving In Too Easily:

If she’s throwing a tantrum to get her way, it’s important not to give in to every demand. If you do, it can reinforce the idea that tantrums are an effective way to get what she wants. Instead, calmly explain why she can’t have it and offer a solution or alternative.

9. Encourage Socialization:

Playing with other children can help teach her sharing and taking turns, which can improve her social skills and reduce feelings of entitlement.

10. Have a Routine:

A predictable routine for meals, naps, and playtime can help reduce frustration and tantrums because your daughter will feel more secure knowing what comes next.

11. Check for Underlying Issues:

Occasionally, challenging behavior can be linked to things like sleep deprivation, hunger, or overstimulation. Ensure she's getting enough rest, proper nutrition, and some quiet time during the day.

Conclusion:

It's common for toddlers to test boundaries and exhibit behavior that seems demanding or arrogant as they learn about their world and independence. By setting clear limits, offering choices, staying consistent, and using positive reinforcement, you can help her develop better social skills and learn to manage her emotions. If you continue to feel concerned, consider discussing her behavior with a pediatrician to rule out any underlying issues or to get further guidance.