Discussion about Is your daughter fair?? Does it really matter!!

Is your daughter fair?? Does it really matter!!

Chubby cheeks, dimple chin, rosy lips, Teeth within, curly hair, very fair, eyes are blue ! Indians are obsessed with fair skin and girls are 'meant' to be beautiful! Express your opinion on how you want to redefine beauty for your daughter or future daughter-in-law. Share stories where you have been /seen girls getting remarks for having darker skin.

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10 Comments

Ritika Bissa Vyas Mom of 4 children 5 years ago

I think it's better to take step if somebody comments on the skin color and tell them straight that you don't like this kind of behaviour.... I will never tolerate anybody pointing out at the skin color..

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Naushin Mom of 2 children 5 years ago

I m a mother of one year old boy child...
I would say... complexion matter a lot... for this Indian society
yes people comments also... I get comment like.. O! he is not fair like..etc...
anything anyone will comment... just to pinch us internally... so that mother of child get hurts and it happens lots of time...
but as an I accepted my child as he is... as he looks.... now I don't think... much how I make his complexion fair... now I want to make him more wise.. intelligent... and a good gentleman with a big heart... to help our society and to be fruitful to our family and country !!
I would few words for my child...

you are an angel sent from sky ,
As I asks from Allah every minute goes by ...!
I feel happiness when you are happy ,
and feel broken when you cry...!

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Shubashri Mom of a 5 yr 11 m old boy 5 years ago

we Indians have weird liking for fairness.we indians are brown people. our skin tone is brown not fair and we should accept it.
fairness is not going to last forever. it will fade away with time. what will remain is ones inner beauty. so try to enhance inner complexion(heart/soul) rather than outer.
I personally been through this situation where I was rejected many a times at the time of marriage because of my dark complexion. At first I felt bad. but later I realised my inner self and felt comfortable with my colour.
everyone should feel happy with their skin color and try not to change it or feel inferior as it is who they are...

Sneha Venkatesh Mom of 2 children 5 years ago

In reply to pooja

when my daughter was born no one came from my in laws (except my husband) in hospital to see my Mee and my daughter. after 2 months my father in law died, then I went to my in laws home with my daughter, no one showed any interest in new born baby. my sister in law taunts Kali(black). I was not hurted because she called her black I got hurted because none of them had feeling for the new born baby. the colour of baby would never decide how much I love her. and her fate wouldn't be decided on her colour. the people who cry to get white complexion and those who thinks white skin is beautiful they all belongs to a lower mentality. if you are not fair so it doesn't mean you not beautiful and if you can't speak English language so it doesn't mean you have lack of knowledge.

Your baby is cute. Don't worry dear. Some day your in laws will feel ashamed for not accepting and loving your kid. That day you will feel to be a proud mother.

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Sneha Venkatesh Mom of 2 children 5 years ago

Color doesn't matter when it comes to kids. Teach your kids that you will be known for your good deeds and not for your appearance. So be kind and treat all with respect.

Judy Mom of 3 children 5 years ago

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Pallavi Mom of a 8 yr 2 m old girl 6 years ago

For me beauty stands for
B- Be bold and courageous to face any situation in life. all you need is a right attitude and strength to take up your stand .never fear to take stand for what is right, no matter if anyone isn't on your side. Nothing is impossible. do not supress and never be overconfident.

E- Empathy is an essential attribute..this helps in understanding others from their point of view. we can't be always right,and empathy widens our vision and stops us from doing wrong to others.

A- Admire..... we must learn to admire for what we have instead of being sad for what we don't have.this is an art and could be excelled when we start admiring our surroundings be it nature, culture, food , etc....it could be anything. Admiration comes only when we have the ability to look beyond the general perceptions and myths .

U- Unbiased opinion. We must try not to be influenced by circumstances. by being Unbiased we can avoid lots of unwanted situations and guilt.

T- Truth.Speaking truth and taking its stance is not easy. everyone could not follow it. but those who follow are more happier than the liars. Statement of a true person never changes even if you ask the same question hundred times in different ways, but in case of liars Everytime u get different answer.

Y- Young as child. never let the child within you die ever. innocence vanishes as we grow up,but never let that energetic youthfulness fade away. it gives us immense pleasure of enjoying even small things just like we did in our childhood.

for me all this attributes add beauty to our soul and makes us glow from within with our confidence reflecting on our faces. this is how I would define "beauty" to my daughter. And I will make sure that she never judges people by their looks, becoz as well said, "all that glitter is not gold" and " one should never judge a book by it's cover" .

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Priyanka Mom of 3 children 6 years ago

In reply to Aparajita

every baby is a God's gift to the family,specially to the mother,because only she knows how much trouble she has faced during pregnancy be it her health or work or finances or society. and then some ignorant come from somewhere and starts making comments to the baby. who are they to do so,they were neither asked for and before commenting they should see themselves, do they look like British. every parent should be proud of their children, try to inculcate good culture in them. yes,people do comment for colour, especially the in laws.but we should not give any importance. when we can give a good citizen to the society who is honest, hard working, sincere,truthful, constructive,then colour comments will fade somewhere in the dark.

well said

1 Like