How to Put a Toddler to Bed in 50 Steps

By Mrunal - Updated: January 7, 2019

It’s true, the terrible two’s and the tantrum-filled three’s are here! One moment you are cuddling your little angel and the next minute you’re chasing a screaming monster! Welcome to life as a toddler mum! Say goodbye to sleep as you know it and hello to pulling your hair out in frustration some days. But also embrace some of the best times you will share with your child.

Anyone who has a toddler at home knows that bed time can last anywhere from 10 minutes to the entire night! Getting your little one to co-operate will depend solely on their mood, which as you know changes every few seconds! Here’s a hilarious step-by-step guide on putting your toddler to bed.

Gather your toddler from whatever activity he is doing.
Announce bed time!
Get ready to ignore some loud crying!
Patiently explain that bedtime is normal and it will happen every night.
Show your toddler some love by cuddling and reassuring him.
In case he forgets(which he will!) remind him that it is still time for bed.
Watch your tot move S-U-P-E-R slow.
Be prepared for detours…
And more crying.
Wait for toddler to stop crying.
Finally manage to get your toddler to the room.
Pick out night clothes.
Hear toddler cry that he wants his other pajamas.
Explain to toddler that pajamas are in in the laundry.
Wait for toddler to stop crying.
Cuddle toddler.
Get pushed away by toddler.
Console your toddler verbally.
Attempt to put clothes on your toddler.
Wait for toddler to stop whining.
Watch toddler struggle into his clothes.
Try to help toddler… in vain.
Continue to watch toddler try to get into his clothes. Finally help put clothes on.
Try to get toddler to brush his teeth.
Answer toddler’s endless “why” questions
Ask toddler to brush his teeth again.
Coax toddler to get up and brush teeth while explaining about dental hygiene.
Carry toddler to the sink.
Wet toothbrush and put paste on it.
Try to get brush into toddlers half opened mouth.
Clean spit-up from all over the sink.
Notice toddler is missing.
Locate toddler and carry him back to the bedroom.
Attempt to put toddler into bed.
Ignore toddlers attempts to run away by holding toddler firmly in a cuddle/lock-down position.
Grab bedtime book.
Begin to read story.
Get interrupted by questions at every line.
Answer questions patiently.
Toddler will suddenly want water. Give toddler water.
Say Goodnight to toddler.
Toddler will stretch tiny arms out for a hug. Hug toddler tight. Feel momentary relief.
Toddler will ask to use the bathroom.
Notice that the drink of water has made it’s way out already.
Put toddler back into bed.
Toddler will stretch out tiny arms again. Hug and kiss toddler goodnight.
Toddler will ask you questions. Answer toddler.
Toddler will ask to be “Tapped” to sleep. Tap till toddler seems to be asleep.
Slowly get up to find that toddler is still awake! Sit back down and continue tapping till toddler actually falls asleep!
Slowly get up and pray that toddler does not wake up!