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The impending birth of a baby can fill new moms with dread, but there’s always a funny side to everything as well. The things you didn’t know about being a new mom can often border on the bizarre and hilarious all at the same time.
No matter how much you prepare yourself for childbirth there’s still plenty room for surprises. Just when you least expect it, the birth of your child rears its funny head. To put it plainly, there are some things that are just not within your control and that can turn into those funniest moments for all involved.
Funniest Quirks About Giving Birth You Didn’t Expect
1. Bowled by the bowel
It probably never crossed your mind those entire nine months and then when the day finally arrives it all comes out – your baby, placenta and last night’s dinner! You might be mortified by it but your mortification soon gives way to laughter because that’s not something you saw coming.
2. Gas trouble
Ask what surprised moms the most about giving birth and they’ll tell you just how much they let it rip. It’s something that’s so natural yet so unexpected, especially when they’ve never been the kind to let it go in front of company, not even in front of their husbands. So when you’re reddening with embarrassment you’ll be sure to find your husband giggling with laughter.
3. The use of mummy diapers
After childbirth, it’s blood, blood and more blood. You’re likely to have your periods for a good solid six weeks after birth and your normal pads just won’t suffice. You’ll have to get used to wearing oversized maxi pads and those long forgotten bloomers that definitely call for a good round of jokes, not least by your husband.
4. Shameless parade
When you’re about to have a normal delivery all sense of shame flies out of the window. In a big hospital, a lot of nurses, doctor’s assistants and even some unexpected visitors like medical students might be in the labour room to witness the grand finale and getting a good look between your legs. Ew! It’s probably one of the things you didn’t know about being a new mom, embarrassingly so.
5. Bladder loses control
Of all the things new moms didn’t expect, among the worst is to pee in the sheets when they least expect it. What with the baby bearing down on your uterus, you tend to lose all control of your bladder. No matter how much you try to keep it in, it’ll find a way of coming out. Funnier still, imagine when you wet the bed in front of the nurses or your doctor! Now that’s something that’ll feel hilarious every time you remember it (or maybe not).
When everything’s over and done with, you’ll soon forget these embarrassing moments only to go through it again when you have your second child. Looking back you’ll find these hilarious quirks to be completely crazy and laughable. Thankfully, the peeing and pooping, nudity and mummy diapers will all go away as soon as you’re out of the hospital. It’s the precious little life, which you hold in your hands that will remain forever.